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It's Not a Race....

Friday, May 17, 2013

I have to keep reminding myself of this. After my freak out and Weight Watchers debacle this week, I feel myself calming down a bit. I have a bit of nostalgia going and I feel a bit down.

I miss the days of diets. emoticon

How fu%ked up is that? I can't believe I am even admitting that out loud. I think back to when I first started up with Sparkpeople and how new and exciting it all was. I felt like a sponge trying to soak it all up. I was learning the tools and loved the Stages (before you had to pay for them anyway). Workouts were new and a struggle for me. Eating healthy was also a challenge. Pop was my best friend. But I changed a LOT when I fought hard to lose the weight and it didn't really take me that long. I hit my goal weight and was able to maintain that until I got pregnant.

I look at things now and see that I eat healthy like 90% of the time. I have treats, the occasional pop (Oh but GAWD does an ice cold Coke taste good with a piping hot piece of pizza), fruits and veggies are mainstays in my fridge, whole grain bread occupies my cupboard, I workout now because I LOVE IT. The scale has not budged.

So I can look at it in one of two ways: either I can be pissed that there has been zero movement in the scale or I can see that my life is entirely different with how I approach food and exercise.

Fact of the matter is this: no, I am not at my happy weight. No, I am not at the size I would consider my ideal. No, I am not losing weight on the scale. HOWEVER, my lifestyle is in check.

I talk a lot about my pendulum swinging wildly from wanting to jump into the next big thing with eating trends (I will restrain from saying diet...) and calorie restriction to finding peace with where I am at. I have been sucking up just abotu everything on the Eating the Food page and see that I am certainly NOT the only person who goes through this.

Self acceptance is hard. Finding inner peace is even more difficult. Being seduced by The Next Best Thing from the dieting industry is easy. Someone on the ETF page suggested, I just work from within to find my happy medium. Not jumping into the next diet or weight watchers or clean eating fad but find how I can work with myself to make change. As we all know, we aren't one size fits all. What works for one, doesn't work for another. I am not at my happy weight. I do have muscle but it is covered by a layer that I don't like. I know that I can workout until the cows come home but that isn't going to change a damn thing until I figure out the food thing.

I hate tracking calories, I really do. It sucks. So, I bought me another Fitbook for a "happy mother's day to me" present (okay that was my justification to do it emoticon ) and I am going to work over the next 12 weeks to find that happy medium. I do think that I can work to be happier with myself but with the knowledge that I don't have to be complacent to do so. I can find that inner peace and let that be my guide to help me figure it out.

Because, truly it isn't a race. It isn't ready.... set.... go..... lose weight! If that was it, I would have long since been disqualified. My road since having baby has been riddled with ups and downs and fragments of 'i can do this' and loads of frustration.

I can do this. If it takes me awhile to figure it out, I am good with that. I have my health and as far as I see it, everything else comes second. I can figure out the weight thing, the exercise thing and the food thing along the way. It isn't a race to the finish, it is a (insert corny cliche line that gets waaaaaaaaaaay overused) journey.

So with that, I am finishing out my rest week and am going to rock it out next week with a new revamped workout plan! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wanted to say that I have done a LOT of work on my health with supplements, homeopathic remedies and flower essences in the last year before coming back to SP and maybe you can find someone to work with who will help balance the emotional component too? Because that really is key to be honest! Even flower essences are great and can help a lot.
    1744 days ago
    It is frustrating, I have had to go back to tracking and weighing, but I am doing it in a much healthier way and not obssessed, and have lost 10 lbs. Nothing wrong with that for me, if it works and have had so many hormone issues that intuitive eating did not work at all. You just have to do what is right for you though and find some peace with it all somehow.
    1744 days ago
    Are there any pearls of wisdom from successful body-builders? It seems to me that they have similar goals to you.

    1744 days ago
    So have you played with your macros at all? Just an idea...maybe lower carb, higher fat and protein? It can help those stuck sometimes to do different things that way too. emoticon
    1744 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    You keep going back to the FitBook so that's got to be part of you plan. Your workouts are well planned and you enjoy them. Now for the hard part. Good luck to you.
    1744 days ago
    I'm with you, dudette. I do miss the excitement of a new diet, and the greater excitement of having it stick for months - and losing weight.

    But it always left me out in the cold.

    I'm ready for something better!
    1745 days ago
    I have to remind myself frequently that the journey is not a race.

    Know that many of us struggle with the same issues. Make sure you give yourself credit for the things you do right. Give your body credit for getting you through pregnancy and breastfeeding. Your hormones may still be readjusting themselves if you just stopped breastfeeding recently.

    Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Take it a day at a time. You'll get where you want to be.
    1745 days ago
    Oh my goodness... this is almost the blog I'm going to write today! A little different, but a lot the same. I'm also starting to see Eat the Food as very useful, but also another "next big thing". I loved the book. I think she may be right, but I also feel that it's not one size fits all (pardon the pun) in terms of diet and exercise.

    I think each body is different.

    I've been teaching for over 30 years. Every couple of years, someone comes out with the "right way" to teach reading to EVERYONE. Sorry, not going to happen. We all have different brains, learning methods, etc.

    I could no more eat the calories that Kaleo talks about, not because of shame, but I just don't feel energize on that number of calories. My scale SUCKED today. But I ate the way I WANTED to today (much healthier and "cleaner" than I have been since my son got home) and I'm feeling SO much better now in terms of energy, etc. Slowly, but surely, I'm learning what foods give me GOOD energy, taste GREAT to me and FILL me up. And when I do all of that, I'm between 1300 and 1800 calories. Period. So that's my story and I'm sticking with it. emoticon

    Anyway, loved your musings here. THANK YOU!
    1745 days ago
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