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    SWEETNEEY   80,725
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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

Friday, May 17, 2013

I am happy it's Friday. We have a holiday on Monday emoticon . I am thinking about participating in a group bike ride. It's at 6a emoticon . I signed up to be a volunteer at a LPGA Golf tournament - May 23 - 26. They have training this Sat. 9a - 11a emoticon As you can tell I love my bed.
I was chatting with a fellow Sparker about social phobia. I don't particularly like socializing. Anyway, I am trying to moderate that - so I called a friend who recently had back surgery and is required to be at home for several months. I haven't spoken to her in a long time, but a mutual friend keeps me up-to-date. I didn't know what I'd say when I called (phobia) but anyway we managed to strike up a conversation. She inquired what I'd been up to - so I told her about the last marathon. She thought I had stopped marathoning and then I told her I had changed the times I went out and why - I had a disagreement with my running group and I didn't want to see them when I'm training. She gave me a lecture on why I was wrong to act the way I did (she's right - but it feels good). I told her I know it's me I fall out with all groups I've joined. She couldn't appreciate that I wouldn't want to conform.

I'm not a conformist and hence I don't like to socialize. The false sentiments and idle conversations. The one upmanship, comparative behaviour and dilution of thoughts. It was nice to talk to her but it underscored why I retreat into myself. This type of interaction will cause me to lose Focus. This was the funny thing that happened....

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LINDAKAY228 5/18/2013 3:38PM

    I can so relate to what you are saying. My social life is mainly on Spark. I think it's because I can control the times I interact and how much I expose myself. I have some very good friends on here, a couple that I've even met in person. But one lives more than an hour from me and the other in another state, so I still have control over how much I spends with them. Although at work I am very sociable and friendly, the rest of the time I really do like to be alone. I have 2 grown daughters and a grown son living with me, and I still spend a lot of time in my room because that's the way I am and that's what I like. Too much contact with people makes me tired. I read once that an extrovert gets energy from being around others and an introvert, even though they may be friendly in group settings, gets physically drained during social interaction. I find that true for me. Small doses is what works best. I love to hike and do so alone. I love my time alone out in the forest. Or taking road trips by myself. It's who I am I guess. I've been this way for years and years. I don't want a busy social life like many need. A friend I work with and I were talking a couple of days ago and she is having troubles with her boyfriend and says she goes back to him because she gets bored being alone. She said that I am different because I can plan things to do by myself and actually do them and she doesn't. I accept that everyone is not like me, and that I am not like a lot of women (or men) who feel they need to be surrounded by people, or even just a few people but around them a lot. I was married for 16 years and have been divorced since 1989. After 6 years of being alone, I got involved with another man and that lasted 2 1/2 years till I broke it off. But after about 6 or 8 months I was tired of being around him all the time and working my life around what he wanted to do. I've not been in a relationship since then. I really am happier being by myself. Someday the right man may come along, and I'm not opposed to that but not looking for it either. But he would have to be a very special person who can accept me as I am and be secure enough in himself to allow me my space. Like I said, I know I am very different from so many others. But it doesn't matter because I've finally, after many years, become really comfortable with accepting myself that way and not thinking there is something wrong with me that needs to be psychoanalyzed to realize why I am this way. It's always great to hear from others who are similar, even if not completely like me. SOme are very similar to me but have a relationship with a spouse or partner, and that's okay too. Sounds like they've found the right one who can understand an accept them. But the fact that we have no desire to be social butterflies and aren't uncomfortable being alone with ourselves is what I mean.
Thanks for sharing this blog. Have a great day.

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HAPPYDOES 5/18/2013 3:08PM

    emoticon You know I SO understand where you are coming from with this blog.

Good for you for doing what you needed to do to take care of you. I'm learning to do the same.

"Here's to the worthy fight!" (as another SparkFriend said) emoticon



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NELSONCHERYL59 5/17/2013 8:31PM

    People r different. I do not like all that surface kinda stuff either. I just like to be real and upfront, and lots of times, i just like quiet.
I applaud u for doing what is right for u and not conforming to others. God made us all unique, otherwise, the world would be boring if we were all the same.

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MS.ELENI 5/17/2013 12:55PM

    Altho I am very active on Spark I am also not a sociable person. I worked with men all my life and it is hard to relate to what most women talk about.Shopping etc. Plus I don't have that need to be with people.Exception being Bill who I always enjoy being with.

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