Thursday, May 16, 2013
Ok, so today has been an awful day. Today at CrossFit we learned a lot of new stuff and a lot of it I couldn't do without SOME kind of help. We were learning handstand pushups and climbing the rope. I am the fattest one in my class easily and everyone else is SO much fitter than I. I'm pretty much in a class full of runners. I mean, everyone is great and nobody makes me feel fat, but I know it. I'm not a moron. It's so frustrating when I felt that I was at least somewhat fit and I'm finding out that I'm not at all. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to anyone else, but today was so emotionally taxing. It hasn't helped that I stopped taking my antidepressants (which has actually gone well!) But the biggest part is that two of my family members have been harassing me on Facebook over how I stand over a particular issue. I'm not going to say what the particular issue is, as this is not the place for it, but these two family members have been harassing me about it for months. Today I finally defended myself (I was ignoring it before) and all of a sudden I'm a "bad person." Needless to say, I ended up blocking them both as I do not need negativity in my life. I have no room for it and I will not make room for it. Still it was hurtful and didn't help the blow my self-esteem had already gotten at CrossFit. I was simply not in the mood. And I didn't appreciate being bullied by my own family. Definitely not cool. I could say so much more about it, but I better just shut up now. LOL
Then to make my day worse, I ate some cottage cheese. OMG I can no longer process dairy. It made me sooooooo sick. I tried to take a nap, but I just couldn't sleep. I imagine I should sleep well tonight though.
So that's been my day so far and it all happened in the MORNING. It's been a rough one and could use some support. Thank you for listening (or reading, in this case!)