Ok, so today has been an awful day. Today at CrossFit we learned a lot of new stuff and a lot of it I couldn't do without SOME kind of help. We were learning handstand pushups and climbing the rope. I am the fattest one in my class easily and everyone else is SO much fitter than I. I'm pretty much in a class full of runners. I mean, everyone is great and nobody makes me feel fat, but I know it. I'm not a moron. It's so frustrating when I felt that I was at least somewhat fit and I'm finding out that I'm not at all. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to anyone else, but today was so emotionally taxing. It hasn't helped that I stopped taking my antidepressants (which has actually gone well!) But the biggest part is that two of my family members have been harassing me on Facebook over how I stand over a particular issue. I'm not going to say what the particular issue is, as this is not the place for it, but these two family members have been harassing me about it for months. Today I finally defended myself (I was ignoring it before) and all of a sudden I'm a "bad person." Needless to say, I ended up blocking them both as I do not need negativity in my life. I have no room for it and I will not make room for it. Still it was hurtful and didn't help the blow my self-esteem had already gotten at CrossFit. I was simply not in the mood. And I didn't appreciate being bullied by my own family. Definitely not cool. I could say so much more about it, but I better just shut up now. LOL
Then to make my day worse, I ate some cottage cheese. OMG I can no longer process dairy. It made me sooooooo sick. I tried to take a nap, but I just couldn't sleep. I imagine I should sleep well tonight though.
So that's been my day so far and it all happened in the MORNING. It's been a rough one and could use some support. Thank you for listening (or reading, in this case!)
Awww...... . I completely understand, at least the CF part. I am the largest and slowest and least fit in my class....ALWAYS! I am slowly coming to realize that is OK - I mean, I am giving it my ALL, as I am sure you are too, and that is the very BEST I can do! Our class was doing rope climbs and HSPUs yesterday too. My modification for the rope climbs are rope rows, which are actually a modification of the modification! LOL And I had to leave before the conditioning part of the workout what included the HSPUs (conditioning is optional - I like to try it, but the next class was starting and my husband and I trade kids and he was starting class), so I don't even know WHAT my modification would be for that....probably regular push ups because I would be doing NOTHING that included any sort of handstand!
I know it gets frustrating, but I am really trying to realize that it is hard for EVERYONE in there...just that everyone is at different levels. It is SO HARD but try not to compare yourself. And I bet we will both find skills that we are better at than others so try to really enjoy and get into those days! For me so far that is deadlifts. But today that WOD has wallballs (I checked the schedule already) and I know I am gonna totally SUCK........but I can only get better right? So can you!
I also try to focus on the things that I CAN do well already. For example - form. I know there are people in there who can lift MASSIVE amounts of weight FAST, but honestly, their form isn't awesome. So as I am going through my reps of dinky weight, I am really trying to focus on my form and get it RIGHT, which can be done at ANY weight, so that I have a good foundation to build on. Slowly it will get easier for both of us!
Plus, I think we are pretty bada$$ just walking INTO a CrossFit gym and completing the workouts, no matter what degree they are scaled!!!
Let me just say... being a 281lb woman who does CrossFit.. I hear ya! It can be disheartening and a bit overwhelming.. but CrossFit is about starting where YOU are and improving.. are you giving it 100%?? THAT is your measure... don't let what you "think" other people are thinking make your workout efforts suck.. cuz most crossfitters who are REALLY working their 100% aren't paying a bit of attention to you! they are in THEIR moment..
I read a good article about scaling (which my coach is a master at but some coaches, I've learned, are not so much) Mistake #7: Avoiding Scaling for Rx Distinction Scaling is a key component of CrossFit training, the means by which you and, say, Rich Froning can do the exact same workout and get equal results. But it’s also one of the most underused components of CrossFit, mainly because scaling often involves picking a lighter weight and not achieving the coveted “as prescribed” distinction. But scaling is not only underused; it’s also misunderstood. The way Gelbrich sees it, just because you’re able to do a given WOD as prescribed doesn’t mean you should. Scaling doesn’t exist only to help you complete a workout; it’s also there to help you achieve the workout as it was intended. Take “Fran,” for example. Many would say that if you’re able to complete all reps (21-15-9) at the prescribed weights (95 pounds for thrusters, bodyweight/no assistance on pull-ups), then you should, even if it takes you 20 minutes. Gelbrich disagrees. “That would be inappropriate scaling,” he says. “Yes, the athlete achieved the Rx distinction, but that’s not the response that workout is looking for. Fran should be a really short, high-intensity workout intended to be just a few minutes long. The question is, Can you do all those pull-ups and all those thrusters in six minutes or less? If so, you’re feeling the same experience as the world-class CrossFit athlete who’s doing Fran in two minutes flat.” Fix it: When deciding whether to scale down on a particular workout, determine what an appropriate time or work output should be. If you’re that guy who does Fran as prescribed in 20 minutes, drop the weight on the thrusters by 20 to 30 pounds, do the pull-ups with elastic bands and try to complete the workout in six minutes or less. Don’t just finish the workout — finish it while achieving “the type of response you’re supposed to get out of it,” Gelbrich says. “That’s where the training gains are made. As you build strength and power output, you can work your way up. It takes maturity to take a step back, but you really need to check your ego at the door.”
Here's the link to the entire article: http://www.theboxmag.com/cros sfit-workouts/the-7-biggest-cro ssfit-mistakes-and-how-to-fix-them/ or go to www.theboxmag.com and look for the 7 biggest crossfit mistakes and how to fix them.
Hang in there.. the only person you're competing against is YOU.. (Oh, as for the FB thing? pish, blow them off.. I like the blocking thing.. and you're a crossfitter, you can't be bullied!)
Hi. I am sorry you had a rough day! A lot of times, when I go to the gym and someone gets on the treadmill and runs, I feel silly there just walking but I remind myself that it doesn't matter what fitness level I am at. I am there WITH them! You are there WITH the people in the class & a lot of people can't say that they even try something like that. One day, you probably will be at that fitness level but you have to keep going and working at it. Keep going and doing your best. At the end of the day, that is all that matters.
As for your family, it is not fair that they are harassing you over a difference of opinion. Explain to your family that nobody is telling them they have to agree with your stance but you would appreciate it if they respected it. I know that always doesn't work, especially when dealing with people who feel passionate about their views and refuse to take one minute to see it any other way but you are not your family. You are you. Independent and old enough to decide how you see things. Feel proud of what you believe even if you are getting backlash for it. Hopefully, your family will realize you mean no harm and all this is a difference of opinion.
((((Beth)))) I don't like it when a day starts like that and just snowballs. I will give you the advice that a trainer gave me years ago when I was having a tough time and complained that I couldn't do things that other people did. He said: "Only compare yourself to yourself" You have been through a journey and still going through it. Your pictures show your success and just being in a crossfit class shows how much you have achieved physically. You said you are in a class of runners - they are a different breed anyway, but if you try to compare yourself to them you will only end up depressed! So step back and write down all the things you have been doing in crossfit that you couldn't even imagine of doing 2 years ago.. or even 10 years ago. ( I am expecting a reply to this- I want to read your list!) I think you are doing an unbelievable great job. You are following a great plan and moving your body. Things will fall into place, just give your body the chance to build up strength. I bet in a year people will see you and wonder why they can't do what you are doing.
Family members can be the worst, especially when you make changes in your life. Not sure what the situation is but you handled it fine- though I know that doesn't make things better.
For your stress- Congrats on being off the antidepressants. That is a big big big step. But stress happens and it is easy for us to fall prey to spiraling down. If you haven't already, check out EFT or Tapping. I love Brad Yates, but if you You Tube it, you will find tons. It's like acupuncture without the needles. YOu tap on certain points of your body while making statements on your situation. So you can search for Tapping and anxiety and you will get a gazillion hits :) It looks a bit weird, but it works! I have been using it for about 8 years - and it helps with anxiety, stress, pain ( I used it for the menstrual pain of PCOS) medical issues, PTSD.... the list goes on and on.
Dairy... It sucks that our bodies go through these changes and decide not to break down foods that we love! Eat some protein, and take it easy, the tummy will settle. I haven't had yogurt in almost a year (since I started Paleo). I just finished my 60 day juice fast a week ago, the past 2 days I was able to add fish, tonight I am adding chicken and hoping to get to red meat in the next few days so I can go back to full blown paleo. I used really hard pecorino cheese to flavor my raw salads and so far it handled it just fine :D Can your body handle butter?
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