Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Okay, I get my "goal not met today" out of the way straight away: I didn't get up and do my exercise today, bad me, I know, tomorrow is a new day... and hopefully by then my legs won't feel absolutely sore anymore... I'm really not used to running anymore, I'll get there again I reckon.
Apart from that I did really well. Breaking bad habits is so dang hard though and even though you stick to change, they just wanna barge right back in given the tiniest opportunity.
I had some chocolate again today, two pieces. And I enjoyed them. I just don't want to relay on them, don't want to "have to have" them.
Now and then though the thought of stuffing myself stupid entered my thoughts (unbidden)and even though it is so disgusting and I know how physically sick I always feel after a binge, it still is tempting me as being something absolutely wonderful. HOW stupid is that thinking! I feel like an alcoholic who still thinks alcohol helps, or a drug addict who just needs the drug. Yet I brushed the thoughts away and did not linger on it and in fact had a rather good eating day, I think.
On Saturday though we're having an international food banquet at church. Well it's all about international food... and not any old food but absolutely delicious international food... inclusive dessert. And parts of me wants to throw all causing over board and eat my way through to my hearts content.... just to feel absolutely sick and dreadful afterwards. I have to think of a plan. In fact not only one plan but have plan B and plan C and maybe even a plan C up my sleeves. I want to enjoy the night, yet also not to be a complete moron.
I finished painting the wall in our bedroom. And I hate it. Well, not the newly painted wall, I LOVE that colour, but the colour of the remaining 3 walls. Without the dark chocolate brown wall those walls just look... not nice at all, especially in combo with my new light grey blue wall..... AHHHHHHHHHHH