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Letting Love Lead

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

As I was going to dance class two nights ago, I was thinking about my family of origin and still trying to work through the things that happened while I was out of state and how to turn all this stuff around.

I keep the Bible on CDs in my car and have been listening to 1 Corinthians 13 as much as possible lately. It helps me to work through a lot of my reactions to people. I like to listen to The Message version because I like the way is sounds.

Here it is in print:

"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but donít love, Iím nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

2 If I speak Godís Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, ďJump,Ē and it jumps, but I donít love, Iím nothing.

3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I donít love, Iíve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, Iím bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesnít want what it doesnít have.
Love doesnít strut,
Doesnít have a swelled head,
Doesnít force itself on others,
Isnít always ďme first,Ē
Doesnít fly off the handle,
Doesnít keep score of the sins of others,
Doesnít revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

11 When I was an infant at my motherís breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

12 We donít yet see things clearly. Weíre squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it wonít be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! Weíll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."


As I was thinking about my family and feeling rather sad and frustrated that my family is so dysfunctional and isn't the way I would like it could be, I popped this CD into the player and began to listen. As I listened to the entire chapter, these lines seemed to be emphasized...and the last one was particularly empahsized:

"Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesnít want what it doesnít have."

.....

"Love doesnít want what it doesnít have...."

I drove the rest of the way to class in silence as just let that one sentence bathe my family and my sadness.
And within about a minute or so, the sadness and frustration went away. Acceptance stepped into its rightful place for the first time ever.

Love doesn't want what it can't have.
I can't have a functional family, but I can love my family in spite of their dysfunction.
I can't have their respect, but I can love them in spite of the lack of it.
I can't change them, but I can change myself.
In changing myself, I can perhaps help to undo the damage I have caused in my own children and then they can also find ways to heal and change, and they can then teach their children how to be healthy and whole.
Then, just maybe, when my family of origin and the extended family sees my branch of the family functioning in a healthy way that is respectful of one another, they will want to be that way, too, and will seek to know how we changed.

And I will say, "I let love lead." (Then I'll teach them to do the same.)



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MAWMAW101 5/15/2013 10:38AM

    All I can say is sometimes I am in awe that what you write is exactly what I know but am unable to put it out there! Don't know why except I was raised without much love and have definitely changed it for my own family. We hug and kiss and love greatly and my most joyous memory is of our 50th anniversary when we went to a cabin in Gatlinburg (all 23 of us plus one on the way) for a week of great fun! This summer they will bring tents and boats (we live by a gravel pit) for a weekend of fishing tournaments, corn hole tournaments, card games, wiener roasts and fish frys. I can't wait.
Because of my family of origin I do have problems with hanging on to my faith sometimes. I will hang on to yours in the meantime.

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A_BIT_AT_A_TIME 5/15/2013 9:30AM

    Wow, that's powerful. Funny how things hit you when you've heard them a million times before and then Zing! the lightbulb comes on. "Love doesn't want what it can't have. " That's such an important lesson - good for you for being willing to hear it and turn it into something positive. emoticon

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