Wednesday, May 15, 2013
I got a nice 3.7 mile run in this morning. I am trying to figure out how to schedule it in before it gets too hot.
My son needs to eat breakfast at 7:30. Breakfast is his biggest meal. He never ate breakfast before this - even when he was little it was such a struggle! Now it is his favorite meal, so we go out every morning to one of his three favorite restaurants. I bought food items to make breakfast here - he loves jalapeņos so I have those, eggs, feta cheese, and steak in the fridge - ready to cook. He still wants to go out instead! So I end up eating it for my lunch while he is at therapy!
Anyway, I get up at 6, take Roxy out for her walk, then get ready and am out the door at 7:30. I eat a light breakfast out with him, then run when we get back to the apartment. It's been real hot here (90's) since I came back, so if I don't get out then it doesn't happen. I am focusing on running every morning now so I should be ok. After I run I hop in the hot tub then the pool. It is a nice reward.
I am eating more so my son eats more. I am hitting close to 2000 cals per day ( I am used to 1200 - 1500). He eats more when I eat more, so I have to right now. I am going to up my miles. My mom (a runner) said when I get to ten miles it won't affect me. Right now I have a gut and it is uncomfortable.
Running is so good for my spirit. My son is moody. His therapist told me to stay on him about eating (he has to finish 100% of his plate, eat 3000 + cals, not drink any beer, etc). I pick my battles. He is eating a lot more and foods he didn't eat before (potatoes, gravy, butter - yes, all the things most of us need to avoid!). And restaurant portions are so huge. One thing I do point out is for him not to eat half of anything. We are taught to do that - anorexics do that as a habit and cardinal rule. I told him that's why he has to eat more than half so he does.
Anyway, quite frequently he says mean things - its not easy being the food police! I feel like i am walking on egg shells. I am told it's "normal" because he is malnourished and using his disease as power. This is what wears me down. I have put my entire life on hold, am away from my husband, home and friends and it is not appreciated. He was not raised this way and it should not be. It has my brother furious. There are lots of times where I want to say "screw it" and go home but when I am not here he drops a lot of weight - and fast. I can't wait until he is more even-keeled.
So that is why running is so important to me. Besides Roxy, it is the only thing I have out here, all the way across the country. I love to listen to my positive music as I run - it gives me a much deserved mental break.