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How Do Court Reporters Keep A Straight Face?

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces pt. 2

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Having consensual intercourse.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOTLEM 5/14/2013 11:53PM

    You had one job ... emoticon

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MARCIEMCGOWAN 5/14/2013 9:18PM

    emoticon

how about Here is your Sign?

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