Tuesday, May 14, 2013
I have been thinking about this since before Mother's day. I would give much to be able to get a stamp that would send a letter all the way to you. I wish even more that I could get one back. I have been a mother much longer than you mothered me on this earth. But I would still give you credit for teaching me so much that was good.
I feel that you can check in on our lives and I hope that it makes you happy. Thanks for giving me a good foundation to build this family. The kids are doing awesome.
My daughter is struggling a bit. But, I really think that is just being 13. I pray so. I pray for guidance with her and of course for her brothers too.
When I look at them and see them becoming competent adults I am amazed by their intelligence, and confidence.
I wonder what is inside me that I could be the foundation for that. I am struggling to shake the feelings of inadequacy. I frequently feel like you knew all the answers but, took the book with you. Somehow I have managed to get to adulthood and find if I talk to people that they don't know all the answers any more than I do.
I want to be more confident and self assured. I want to feel good. I don't say to myself what I would say to others. I need to be kinder. I will try to imagine if you could sit beside me that you would tell me it is OK. I am OK. I will be OK.
When I look around I know that my life is blessed. I will try to remember you and see all the good instead of focusing on my struggle.
Thanks Mom...Love you.