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Feeling alone....

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I have been on my change in lifestyle journey for about a year and a half. In that time I've lost 30 lbs, have completely changed the way I eat, and made exercise a part of my life. I turned 40 this year but feel better and healthier than I ever have. I have even dramatically cut down on my drinking.
My husband on the other hand has done nothing to improve his health. He is still overweight, eats terrible, and doesn't exercise at all. I have always been told you can't make someone want to change so I have never really forced my new lifestyle on him. I have been hoping for the last year and a half that he would see the changes in me and want to change himself.

Well.....that hasn't happened and I'm afraid it never will.

Things that I really enjoy, life trying new healthy recipes, bike riding by the river, hiking in the mountains, kayaking on the lake, all of these things I have to do alone. I don't really have any friends that like to do these things either. Luckily, my kids are old enough to do some of these things with me, but even they would rather stay home on their ipods most of the time.

I guess I'm kind of at a crossroad. My marriage has been very rocky for over a year now and I keep hoping things will get better. I have tried really hard to accept my husband for who he is but am afraid I have totally fell out of love with him.....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It is a hard thing to live in a situation where one of you is healthy and one is not. :( Are you able to talk with your husband at all about this? Or does he completely blow you off? One way I have of making a decision is to listen to my body. Have one good friend that you can trust completely - or simply journal if you don't have one.....On day 1 talk/write about staying committed to your marriage. At the end of the day how does your gut feel? Your neck? Your back? Wherever you carry stress. The next day do the same thing, only talk/write about leaving and what that will look like and feel like. Again at the end of the day, how does your body feel?

    This process has helped me make major decisions....hopefully it will help you.

    Good luck and know that people are supporting you!

    PS - have you looked on SP for people near you who will be active with you?
    1618 days ago
    Knowing so little of your actual "story," it's very hard to even comment... are you able to talk to your husband about these issues? I was 40 when I got divorced (DH left me for another woman after 15 years of being married) and it ended up being a very positive thing for me, but certainly not what I would choose even in retrospect. If, deep down, you really want to stay together, you will have to find some way to kind of take a step backward and help him start from the beginning so he can catch up to where you are. If, on the other hand, you've already left in your own mind, you probably aren't doing him any real good either and you may as well pull up the stakes. It will probably not be an easy decision either way, but you will always have support here on SP because many of us have been through difficult times. You deserve to be happy...

    Best wishes,
    1618 days ago
    My story, I don't want to influence any decisions, but...

    My husband (of 28 years) moved out 3 years ago. We grew apart. The kids are grown, so why not enjoy the rest of our lives? No fights, totally mutual.

    We remain friends (he stops by several times a week) and it has been great. When he left, most of the negativity in the house left.

    I would really like to find someone to share my life with, but until then, I'm fine.

    Please just don't jump into anything.
    1619 days ago
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