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CURRENTFAN
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A hard night.

Monday, May 13, 2013

I'm having a hard day today.

I was really emotional at work today listening to the coverage of the Marriage Equality bill in the Minnesota Senate. I'm so proud to be a Minnesotan today, and I truly believe that families are forever. It's the same love. {live on}

Listening to the debate brought me to tears several times at my desk.

I had a hard night with eating when I got home. I overate and had no self control. I struggle so much with this. Even now that I'm working out I still get really anxious about food. I don't know how to move past it.

I didn't work out at all today. Mostly because my triceps and my left foot are killing me. But also because I'm just down on myself. So I'm also dealing with the guilt of not working out. Ugh.

I also miss my cousin. It's been 3.5 years since she died but I miss her so fiercely every. single. day. I've been in therapy for about a year and some days I can cope okay, but some days, like today, the gaping hole in my life literally brings me to my knees.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v SUNSET09
    emoticon Let her live through you as I'm sure, she would not want you to miss out on things that she was not able to accomplish. You just need to have an AHA moment as it is within you to make it happen. It's a life style and everything in moderation. It does not mean you have to give up everything you enjoy. you can do it and we are here for you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1104 days ago
  • v REYVNCFOX
    Loss is always difficult emoticon Don't let that place in your heart where she was be your center - The emptiness will always be there, surround it with the memories.
    1105 days ago
  • v MOTHEPRO
    emoticon Today is a new day, just try and do better.
    1105 days ago
  • v BEANIES_MOM
    emoticon
    1106 days ago
  • v MPLSKEN
    emoticon

    You weren't alone today! I also spent much of the day eating while closely following the live feed of the MN Senate. And, there were some tears here, too. I'm also very proud to live in our state today, especially since this directly affects me and my family.

    Luckily, Mondays and Tuesdays are my crazy days for eating anyway, as part of my maintenance strategy. But, one day is just that, one day. So, regroup tomorrow and you'll be fine!

    Regarding your loss. it's difficult, for sure. I try to manage those emotions knowing that the memories and feelings connected to those I've lost essentially mean those people live on through their impact on me. If that makes sense. I try to find those people in my daily actions and thoughts, therefore I haven't fully lost them. They are a part of me.

    Thanks for sharing!
    emoticon emoticon
    1106 days ago
  • v CRAZYGAGRANNY
    emoticon Our loses are always hard to deal with, but life must go on! I am sure the love you had for your cousin went both ways,your cousin would want you to live your life to the fullest, be the best you can be!

    On days when you don't work out, don't beat yourself up, forget it, pick yourself up,dust your britches off and get right back on track! emoticon

    We all have these days!
    Hope you have a great week and keep smiling my friend!
    Barbara emoticon emoticon
    1106 days ago
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