Monday, May 13, 2013
2000 calories... That is what I've been hanging at for awhile now. This surpasses my goal by about 350 calories. I can tell you there was a time for much of last year, where staying within my caloric goals was dare I say "easy". I was motivated, I told my cravings who was boss. But, I haven't been that same person for quite a few months now. I held on and maintained my weight for quite awhile, while I kept up with my cardio, but for the last month that has been slipping too. I've gained 4lbs back, and I'm pretty sure they're "real" pounds., as it wasn't something that just jumped on me overnight. What the heck is going on with me? I seem to ask this of myself everyday right AFTER I shove something into my mouth... I want the determined me back. I know what I need to do, but how do I kick my butt into doing it again? There are many reasons to do the hard work, and no reasons not to. I've looked back over my blog entries, and I see that I've been on this downward slop for quite awhile now. I'm scared to death that I'm becoming too comfortable. In the past, this is exactly the point at which I stopped "dieting" and it all came back on again. Can I at least give myself some comfort in telling myself that at least this time I am quite aware of what is going on, instead of being blind to it as I was so many times before? Today I forced myself to get up and do my cardio DVD instead of catching up on some of my favorite DVR'd shows. It felt GOOD! I have Zumba scheduled tomorrow, and I'm thankful for that right now! But, how do I tell my stomach that I am FULL? How do I tell myself that the feeling of not being hungry is what to strive for, and not gutt busting full? It's so hard to stop eating sometimes. I've noticed afternoons after work is my hard time again. I need to plan ahead for a more filling snack to get me through until supper. It's been hard not to raid the pantry first thing when I get home. I need to knock that off! Ok, I guess I'm just emotion dumping right now, but I feel that I need to right now. I'm heading off to bed knowing that today I made some bad choices, but I made some good ones too. Thankful that with every new day I have a new opportunity to try a little harder to get back on track.