Monday, May 13, 2013
Ok, I did it. I started over.
Recently I have seen more than a few people who have been able to let go, reset their "starting" weight, and start over. For a long time, I have held on to an out-of-date weight on my page. I tried to just ignore it because I'll get back there soon, right? And my weight is a very small part of why I am doing this. It's about health, first and foremost. The weight is secondary.
But when my page displays a weight lower than my actual weight, it's kind of like lying to myself (wishful thinking), and it isn't hurting anyone but me. And when I'm struggling somewhere above that weight and it is going to take me a while to lose enough to start using the counter again, I never get to take pride in the progress I AM actually making. I see that great progress I made a couple years ago staring me in the face every day, and it mocks me. It undermines all of the effort and progress I am making right now. And right now is all that matters.
Who knows how long it will take me to lose the weight I've gained since last year? Hopefully not long, but there's no reason to punish myself by pretending that this 13 pounds is some kind of prerequisite before the REAL weight-loss can begin.
So, I started over today. I made peace with that 13 pounds, so that I can finally feel GOOD as it disappears.