So many excuses...
...so little effort.
Fact of the matter is, Bronwyn, you haven't been doing what you should be. You have every excuse in the book to be down, depressed, stressed-out...and NONE to not be working out. Yeah, you've got physical issues. You've worked past those before, woman. Get up, pull on your big-girl panties, and git'er'dun!!! What is WRONG with you??
I'm tired, I'm stressed, my heel still hurts (depending on use--been worse, just lately)...but I did really well for a couple of weeks, and saw GREAT results...
...and I lost that progress. And then some.
I feel disgusting. I feel weighed-down, bogged-down, held-back... I feel like I've let myself down. And the 100% honest truth is: I have. I'm not taking care of myself. I'm letting all the stresses in my life effect how I treat MYSELF. My one rule has always been: honor the body.
It's got many layers, but basically 'honor the body,' to me, means:
1. Don't pump it full of crappy food and toxins
2. Don't be sedentary
3. Don't deprive it of sleep
4. Don't deprive it of food and nutrients
It's been the way I approach my lifestyle for so long--junk food is, in general, BAD for me, esp. in large quantities. Don't binge on freakin Doritos and crap. Too high a fat content will make me sick, with my lack of gall bladder--so I avoid fat, focusing on getting a healthy intake of healthy fats like olive oil. Less fiber means more misery, so I incorporated more. I read labels, I count calories...
...most of the time. Too often, I don't give a crap. I don't feel like cooking!!
I'm tired, darnit, just bake a frozen pizza and leave me alone!!
I can't do this to myself anymore...or to my bf.
The mood swings, the scale-induced depression, the 'whatever' attitude when it comes to food...it's just got to stop. I can't go back there--I won't go back there.
Last night, bf and I bought lunch meat made lunches for the week--healthy sandwiches, 100-calorie packs of chips/pretzels/etc., fruit and veggies...he even sliced up pickles so he could take them ('what's a sandwich without a pickle?' he said...lol). I have been turning a focus on healthier food, too--chicken or turkey sausage instead of regular (even with kielbasa), making my bf measure out his serving of pasta, taking it easy on higher-cal or higher-fat stuff...
Still, I've got to get back on track and dedicate myself to honoring my body and finishing this journey I started...however long ago it is, now, since I first joined.
Such a long road...
Got willing, I won't get called into BBW tonight (I just worked a nice, long shift there yesterday), so I can go home and hop on the bike for a bit.
Something...has GOT...to give!!