Sunday, May 12, 2013
Breakfast: McDonald's oatmeal w/o brown sugar and a folded egg
Snack: peanut butter cookie
Lunch: Applebee's Zesty Roma Chicken and Shrimp with broccoli instead of rice and no sauce
Snack: 2 bananas, 90 calorie peanut butter/dark chocolate nature valley bar and a small slice of cake (all spread out over about 5hrs)
Dinner: 2 pieces chicken/tomato/onion/green pepper Stromboli
Dessert: grande nonfat chai from Starbucks
First of all, Happy Mother's Day to all you moms! Unfortunately I am not a mom and I also failed at being my mother's child today too. Normally my siblings and I make my mom a breakfast and/or lunch and today, we did neither. I also failed at getting her a card. I have no excuse other than I forgot until I was out shopping with my mom the last two days and I didn't want to buy it with her there...I should have just bought it. :( I'm thinking my brother and I are going to do a Mother's Day do-over in two weeks (her next weekend off) because we failed today. :(
After church, I was so exhausted I really wanted to take a nap, but I couldn't fall asleep. So I just relaxed and continued to enjoy my non-eventful weekend before the week ahead gets too crazy. Church tonight I thought I looked great, and I even got a lot of compliments. It wasn't necessarily anything that made me feel extra pretty, I just felt like I was genuinely beautiful tonight, which doesn't usually happen. Unfortunately though, while my friend Patrick was preaching, my heart was beating 100+ bpm, the entire time. So I spent that time deep breathing and trying to not pass out. I haven't had this many episodes in a while so it is frustrating that this is happening again...especially since I don't currently have health insurance. As Patrick was winding down his message, I was still deep breathing and starting to feel my heart rate go down when he said "Well, now that James is here, we can pray." James wasn't planning on coming to church tonight because he was with his family and I was looking forward to not seeing him because he is leaving soon for vacation so I thought I would have a few weeks without him. But of course, he has to show up right as my heart rate was trying to normalize. :( I did my best to avoid him without actually avoiding him. Meaning, not going near him, but not necessarily going away from him either. When he walked up to me and my friend Sara and started talking with us, I politely excused myself because I just need to get away. He has no idea what he's doing to me! And then as we're leaving he made comments about how he hasn't seen me in a while and asking me how things are going. Asking me about the babies and sharing stories about his niece and nephews. I seriously need to get away. And since I still haven't heard back from this job I'm currently waiting on, I decided I'm going to start looking into other opportunities. The main one I'm looking into is the possibility of teaching in Saipan. They would pay me to live and teach there and it's thousands of miles away from the person who is breaking my heart. It's just, unfortunately, thousands of miles away from my family and closest friends, most importantly, Aimee. But, I have a friend who taught in Saipan and when I ran into him a few weeks ago and we talked about this, I thought it sounded cool for maybe in the future, but I have thought about it almost daily since then. So, he is going to email the principal tomorrow to see if they have everyone they need for this next school year or not and so I may potentially do that. There are just so many unknowns right now with this Kindergarten job, and since they have yet to contact me after their meeting last week, it is getting a little annoying and frustrating. So, if you think about it, say a prayer for me please!
Anyways, after I got home from church tonight, I took my blood pressure to double check that it was a bit more normalized, and since it was, I went downstairs for Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, day 2. Today I used two cans of soup for my weights because it was either that, 5lb weights or running out into the freezing cold to get the 1lb weights out of my car....I chose soup :) I definitely felt better doing it tonight than I did last night, but I also had more time between eating and working out and not quite as much junk as yesterday too. When I stepped on the scale this morning, I was surprisingly down a couple from yesterday so hopefully I will have a good number for this week. At least get me back down to 165 on my new scale! I know that's 5 lbs, but I really feel like the 5lb gain was from bloating, water weight and digestive problems. If I'm not back to 165 by Saturday, no worries cause I'm not quitting until I reach my UGW.