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ELIZINJAPAN
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Hope

Sunday, May 12, 2013

First, a lovely story.
Older gentleman at the gym who knows I like running in races: "Are you running in the xx Marathon this year?"
Me: "No, I don't think so."
Older gentleman: "Why not?"
I have several reasons, but I just pick a simple one.
Me: "Well, I injured my knee training for a half last year, so I want to be careful."
Older gentleman: "Does it still hurt?"
Me: "Off and on."
Then.........
Older gentleman: "Well, you are lighter this year, so you should be fine."
Me: "..."

Here's why this was weird: I'm at least 10 lbs HEAVIER than when I ran the half last year!
Also, I was kind of sad that he decided in his mind that the reason I hurt my knee was that I was too fat. I really liked the weight I was last summer.

People have been telling me that I look slimmer. It's odd, because I've gained. And it ain't muscle. I thought they were just being kind until the older gentleman came out with his backhanded compliment. Lol.

Note that I did not tell the older gentleman that I'm 10 lbs heavier!

Anyway, I digress. Lately, I've been feeling a little hopeless about the weight I've gained and the general state of being me. It's still cold, and spring is taking its sweet time arriving. I feel like I should be outside enjoying May, but the cold, grey, windy days usually send me running for the nearest shelter.

But this morning, I started back down the healthy path. I just updated my SparkPeople stats, and though they were grim in ways, I felt really hopeful when I plugged my current weight and goal weight into the calculator. Though I usually lose slowly, there's no reason why I can't stop gaining and start losing again. The feeling of hope feels really good - I haven't had it in a while.

This week, my goal is to not eat out. If I need social time out at a restaurant or cafe, I'll have coffee. Even something delicious like a coffee with milk won't derail me.

I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but I'm back!
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