Pink eye

Sunday, May 12, 2013

My kid has pinkeye. Which is fairly miserable for her. My husband and I are doing everything possible to avoid her reinfecting herself, and avoid getting it ourselves. She's on medication and is theoretically not contagious as of tomorrow at 12.

We had planned a trip this week to see my family and my in-laws. We had planned on going up Tuesday night to the in-laws, and switching to my family on Friday. We obviously called both families to warn them. My in-laws said we should still come. My family said no. I offered to swing by their house for a short visit on Sunday on our drive back, after her full course of antibiotics was over. Still no.

I often feel hurt that my family does not want to see my kid more. I know they are busy. They live about an hour and a half away, and we offer to come up about every other month. I'd say they actually see us about 4 times a year, despite the fact that they visit my siblings (who live 2 miles away from me) several other times a year. They complain all the time that my in-laws are so close to my kid, but the in-laws live further away and come see us about 2x a month (on top of the typical visits to them every other month).

My family just will not see her if she is even a little bit sick. She's a daycare baby (at least part time) so she's just always sick and sniffly. Plus she has allergies, so her nose is running pretty constantly. My parents are young (in their 50s) and have no real health issues to make them fear her sickness so much. It's hard to listen to them complain about how little they see her while they also choose not to see her so much.

My whole side of the family seems fairly uninterested in her. The extended family does not invite her to weddings or other family gatherings (even the more low key breakfasts after or lunch before). They also complain about how they've never met my kid, but I don't really want to travel with her just to get a babysitter in a strange city (which I would feel totally uncomfortable with anyway.....). His family invites her to everything, and she's met all of them several times.

I guess ultimately I am lucky and grateful to have people who love her, and I need to accept my family where they are. I just worry as she gets older she'll ask why my parents always cancel on her, and why she's never met my aunts and uncles and cousins. I don't have a good answer.
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  • SUNSET09
    I had wanted to send you this before, however, had ot wait on the reply from a friend. She had shared this pink eye "remedy" with me and maybe, it can help you as well as others. Want to hear it, here it goes:

    Rule # 1, never never never touch the eye with your bare hand.
    #2, geta roll of paper towels, but never touch it unless you wash your hands first.
    Afer you wash your hads, get one towel, wet it, then gentlypress it to the eyes for a couple minute. Wipe the eye, throw the towel away and wash your hands.

    Repeat this 10 to 20 times a day. Do it every hour r more.

    The doctor showed me over the years how it works because you are essentially pulling that infection out and throwing it away.

    If you do this without washing yor hands before and after or if you do this and touch your eye with your bare hand, you are infecting yourself and everyone else who comes into contact with your fingers.

    Wash wash wash!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1648 days ago
  • PEG2584
    It was kind of the same way with my daughter. She is/was very close to my parents because we lived only a few miles apart and my mom babysat her after school and during the summers. Afer her dad and I got divorced, my parents and I would take her to see her other grandparents (her dad didn't) but after awhile that just got to be a hassle for me and we stopped doing that. I felt bad but I was a single mom, working full time and had other obligations. When she graduated from college, with two degrees), that side of the family didn't come to graduation or to her party afterward. It hurt her feelings but she didn't let it get her down.

    As a grown up, she was extremely close to my dad before he passed, is close to my mom and loves her other grandma even though they aren't very close at all.
    1649 days ago
  • DR1939
    Surprisingly kids seem to be able to sort out these kinds of things. We are very close to the children of one of our daughters whereas his parents do not spend as much time with them. We tend to give bigger gifts. The children still feel loved by them and do not feel as they are neglected. It is important that you don't discuss this in front of the children because they do pick up on your feelings of rejection. If they ask, then you should say that people are different and have different family traditions.
    It is hard to watch but your goal is to get your children through this with a strong sense of self-worth and without feelings of rejection.
    1649 days ago
    All the best! R
    1649 days ago
  • SUNSET09
    It's your family who are missing out! Cherish the relationship that you have with her and be mindful. Love on her and let her know, it's not about her! Just continue to invite and provide them with info about how well she's adjusting and share pcis of her. Don't end up being the bad person. You're more than a conqueror! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1649 days ago
    Tough condition. Irritating and difficult for children.
    1650 days ago
  • NH_MOM
    That's a tough one but even if you don't say anything she'll eventually figure it out. I have a similar issue. My sister-in-law takes my oldest son more than she takes my younger son. He is old enough to be hurt by this and I have no idea what to say other than Auntie has a favorite and it's not you. I haven't done that but it's getting to that point b/c I think he's kind of got that figured. She also complains that she doesn't see any of my 3 kids(she lives 30 minutes from me), but she rarely drives up to see them. I have to either meet her or go to her house. Well, whatever. It happens and we explain the best we can but in the end kids are pretty smart and will figure it out. I think your daughter may question it but if she gets to see the other half of the family a lot she may not even miss seeing your side of the family.
    1650 days ago
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