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Moving Forward

Sunday, May 12, 2013

This past month has been filled with a lot of emotion. We started on April 11th getting a phone call from my Dad saying that Mom was very sick and then made her tell me what the doctor had said. On April 15th Mom went into total renal failure and was admitted to the hospital. After draining a lot of fluid from her abdomen and running a bunch of blood tests, the results came back that Mom had cancer. They performed an ultrasound that showed the medical staff nothing, so they did a CT scan which showed that her entire abdominal cavity was full of cancerous growths.

Once it became obvious that there would be no cure or remission for Mom we had a party for her and the whole family gathered around her one last time on April 21. After that I started spending as much time as I could at the hospital with Mom, and, when they were there, Dad and my sister.

We made arrangements for Mom to be moved to a hospice facility on April 28th. She was moved in the late afternoon on April 29th. On April 30th the hospice staff recommended that perhaps one or more of us (Dad, sister, or me) would like to spend the night with her. I decided to go home and study and my sister had papers to do in the early morning so it was decided that Dad would take the first over night shift with Mom. Little did we know that it would be the only over night shift emoticon

Dad called at 3:45AM on May 1st to let us know that it was over and Mom had passed away. All I could think of at that time is "I have to get to Dad." Then it was on to planning the funeral and such which went okay as my Dad had a package through the Knights of Columbus that pretty much had everything planned all we had to do was pick the hymns and pictures we would for the handouts.

The night of the prayer service was emotionally charged, as was the day of the funeral. After everything was over we went to my sister's place to have a bonfire and a night of remembrance. Everything ended well even though tempers did flare during the time we spent together. Apparently even a solemn occasion can't get rid of the drama in a large family. We ended the night having the first really adult conversations of our lives with my nephews. We have decided that we are family and we need to just get along as best we can.

It is sad to me that it took this to get our family to reunite and see that we love each other despite our short comings. We need to build a future now that is based on love and respect, not on hate and resentment.

Please hug your family extra tight and remember to say I love you because we are not guaranteed tomorrow.

Happy Mother's Day to all.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1740 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    What a beautiful testimonial to the woman who brought you all together... again. So sorry for your loss. Glad things went well (mostly) with the services, remembrances and all you had to go through.

    I think it would be easier in some ways that she had such a short time after diagnosis. She is out of pain. Now is the time of healing and love, a great way to celebrate her life.. **HUGS**
    1743 days ago
    Happy Mother's Day to you. I am here if you need to talk or vent! I know its hard.
    1743 days ago
    Happy Mother's Day to you. I know it is hard, this being the first one without your mom, but she is still with you in your heart and always will be. No matter what issues you have and will always have with your relatives, never forget that they are family and you love them.
    1743 days ago
    I am so sorry for your loss. This is an especially important post considering it's your first Mother's Day without your mom.

    You are right that we often take our loved ones for granted. I'm thankful you are surrounded by a good family.

    Wishing you peace.
    1743 days ago
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