So, for those of you who can recall, oh so long ago (at least that's how it seems to me) that I had set a few goals for the month of April. I started off strong that first week, struggled through the second week, and began what I can only describe as "limping along" for the first part of the third, then getting a job out of nowhere and that was the end of any goals I ever did have!
I know where I lost momentum. I just don't know why. Where did my motivation go? Where did that drive go? I seriously don't know. Am I happy being only halfway to my goal? (No.) Am I content with being a size 14/16 instead of a size 18/20? (No.) Do I like having a Large t-shirt instead of an XL/XXL? (No.) Do I like feeling sluggish and tired because of junky, processed, nutritional wasteland-type foods? (No.) So, what's the dealio, yo? Why do I seem to want to stay this way instead of improving? I don't have an answer for that.
Last week was the end of my classes for the semester. Just in the two weeks that my job and classes overlapped, I have to say: I don't know how people do it. I don't know how people work at a job 8/+ hours a day and then go to classes, too. And fulfill responsibilities at home. I had so little time for homework. I spent an entire day, from the moment I woke up, to the moment I went to bed (waaaaaaaaaay past my bedtime, too) working on my final project for PhotoShop. It turned out nice and everyone had nice things to say about it. I got a 95/100 on it. I'm not disappointed with that grade. I knew I wouldn't get 100pts on it because I didn't do a "compilation" background. I tried, but the vision in my head was not translating to the canvas. So, I took a background, did some modifications on it to better suit my needs, and went with that. I think it turned out better than anything I could have pieced together. Even if it is plagiarism. Or copyright infringement. Whatever. That's all this class has ever been. I would post a completed copy of my project for ya'll to see, but the canvas size was soooooo huge (it was meant to be poster-sized) that I couldn't save it as a .jpeg without crashing my computer. My final product's size (in .psd format) is 1.21gb. Huge. I did, however, get an A in the class overall. So, that's just fine with me.
My stats final... didn't go too well. Thanks to my job and working outrageously huge amounts of hours, I was left with very little time to study. By the time I'd get home from work and sit down to do some homework/studying, I'd be so exhausted I'd fall asleep with my calculator in my lap and my computer on. And he saved the hardest chapter for last: probabilities. I remember them from my last attempt at taking stats. They were hard. And a concept I couldn't easily grasp. And still couldn't by the time our test came around. Sadly, out of the 25 questions on the test, about 18 of them were probability questions from that chapter. The rest were from other chapters throughout the semester. Unfortunately, I don't know my grade from that test or that class yet. At my estimation, the best I could have done is a mid-C. At least I passed it, but the reality is, I needed to also do well in it. It was a class the admissions folks for my Master's Program are going to look at and factor in. :-(
So, let me tell you about this job. It's a DSS position (dietary services supervisor) at a skilled nursing facility. The kitchen there has been long neglected. There are issues up the yin-yang that need to be fixed. And that's where I come in. I oversee the kitchen and dietary doings. So, I've been working on the kitchen and getting it up to code as far as equipment, sanitation training for employees, emergency supplies, etc. Its a lot of work and very long days. I also screen new admits and update their charts regarding their nutrition status. That part involves a lot of paperwork. And a lot of time. It's one of those things that requires a lot of little details in addition to the big picture. I'm glad I can say I'm employed again. I'm glad I can say I am using some part of my schooling, finally... all those 5am days, 4+ hours on public transportation, countless cups of coffee, training... finally paid off. I still feel like I'm learning as I go, and that will possibly always be the case, but I'm glad to be where I am. Now I just need my own car to make life a bit easier.
I'm not sure what my immediate future is going to hold with all these changes and revelations. I still hope to join ballet in the fall. I'd like to get a gym membership to take boxing classes at a local gym. I hope I can still take classes and continue working toward my "higherest" education. Maybe once I've let myself settle into the position over summer, I can be better equipped to integrate class work with my work schedule.
Anyhow, I'm sorry to have dropped off the radar, but now you know why. I am keeping up with you all, slowly and silently. I read your blogs and updates. I just haven't always had the time to drop ya'll a line to let you know I'm still here.
And since it's Mother's Day...
Happy Mother's Day!
Hmmm... I need a new pic! This was like... 3 years ago.