Sunday, May 12, 2013
Veg-Evac personnel were dispatched early this morning to an undisclosed garden near Austin after receiving this call on the emergency line: "Git here nayow! Mah veggies'r diyd! mah purr purr veggies...Ah saw'r it with mah own ayes! They just lept right out of the sole and threw themself right thar' on the grayound! Thar's exes awn ther ayes ther diyd ah kintell. Noooo!"
Upon arrival at the scene the emergency personnel became suspicious of the owner of the garden not only because they couldn't pin down their accent, but because the plants appeared to have been sheared off at the soil line. When the authorities arrived they discovered a dull sharpie and a sharp pair of dull scissors on they-who-must-not-be-sane and issued the following statement: "These were bought locally."
They are still baffled over the accent.
This has been a TBSnooz breaking news alert. And remember: "TBS - for your Total BS"