Sunday, May 12, 2013
And all I can think about is how damn fat I've gotten.
I cannot even describe how pissed off I am about this. I worked my ASS off over the past four years, I battled emotional issues, lost a ton of weight, lost my grandfather, my uncle, my best friend, I double majored, I graduated with a 3.7 GPA. I WORKED MY ASS OFF! I should be bouncing off the walls with glee at the fact that I worked so hard and gained so much knowledge, experience, skill!... But no, the only gain I'm concerned with is the twenty pounds I put on over the past year.
This all made me realize something... Graduating is one of the most amazing things I'll accomplish in my life. This is a huge milestone. Gaining weight can't take away from that... But making poor health and diet decisions and playing the ignorance card in order to be able to party and eat a donut or mozzarella sticks at three in the morning or eat McDonald's three times a week... THAT can take away from the milestone that I completed today.
I know the real reason I'm bothered by the weight gain is the way in which I gained the weight. I know I'm just upset that I stopped taking care of my body. I know I'm upset because I stopped doing the right things and now I feel week, tired, pudgy, bloated all the time and, hey, I don't even fit into a lot of my Summer clothes. Yippe.
However, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to start today with a clean eating diet and three workouts per week. I want to take care of myself and I finally feel that I have the energy, focus and most importantly, the TIME, to workout and eat right and not get overly stressed about it.
Today I am going to weigh myself on a good, accurate scale (the one in my basement is kinda crappy and whenever it gives me a weight I go, "oh, psh, that could be like two pounds off", NO MORE). I'm buying myself an electronic scale and I'm facing the cold hard truth about my weight and then I'm going to destroy it! I'm going to get my awesome, strong body back. I'm going to get my self confidence back! I'm going to be healthy!