Do you remember the fireman's warning to stop, drop, and roll if you catch on fire? Well, I figure I should have one when I encounter an emotional crisis.
Stop, breathe, sleep, eat nutritionally, reflect. I certainly used this technique the other night. Basically, I was stood up and it took its toll on me emotionally...
Here are the facts: over the past month I have gotten to know, E., one of the regulars at the salsa venues that I frequent. We exchanged phone numbers several weeks ago but he never called or text. When I saw him this past Wednesdsay, I made note of such and he followed up with his intention to then meet outside of salsa nights. The next day on Thursday I took the initiative and asked if he wanted to meet for dinner. We had a pleasant night out and then went to his place later to watch a movie together.
I did take note, however, of some potential red flags when getting to know him better. First of all, he is on A LOT of prescription medication. E. was in the military for six years and apparently had a traumatic head injury in Afghanistan after a hand grenade was thrown his way. I think he saw me glance over to the array of prescriptions meds (must have been at least 10 bottles), and he then explained that some of them were for anti-anxiety issues.
Another problem is that he is five years younger than me. I'm 31 and he's about to turn 26. It doesn't seem like much but I've noticed that for people in their 20s (myself included when I was that age), those five years might as well be 10+ years in terms of emotional maturity. This may not be the case for everyone, but unfortunately E. seems to fall in this category.
He even admitted as much that he feels as if he needs to "catch up for lost time" spent in the military. And it doesn't help that he is still finishing up a degree whereas I've finished up my graduate studies three years ago... Thus, we seem to be in very different places in our lives. Yet I still enjoyed spending time with him and was hoping he could at least be my regular Latin social dance partner. He told me he was planning to go to the Friday venue, which is less than a 10-minute drive from his apartment, but he was a no show. Even after I texted him, he claimed he was too tired to go. I realize life happens and people may not make an intended social function, but it would have been nice if he followed through with an offer to do something this weekend.
I guess I was more disappointed than usual under the circumstances because I thought there was a mutual attraction. It's never a good sign when a young man states he is "too tired" to meet a woman he claims he is interested in on a Friday night. But like I said, therein lies the rub -- he is most likely too young for me. On the drive back home I did find raw emotions bubbling to the surface. The insecure, take-things-too-personally, old me started to re-emerge... Maybe I'm not attractive enough? Perhaps I was too foward? I am going to be single forever! Etc., etc., etc.
In order to eliminate this emotional "fire" I pulled over at a local kiosk, allowed myself to cry for a few minutes, picked up a 200-calorie package of cashew nuts that I snacked on, then slept for a good 9 hours when I arrived home. I was amazed at how much better I felt in the morning!
Surprise, surprise, E. never did follow up with a call or text today. Actions speak louder than words and I remind myself that it is his loss, not mine. If he wants to be immature and inconsiderate, then that's his side of the road and I'm not going to invest anymore time in him, either platonically or romantically.
In other news I was able to pat myself on the back for eating a nearly 100% nutritionally dense diet this past month (which as been uber stressful so I needed those extra nutrients!). The only aspect that I am trying to change to my whole foods diet is dairy. I still sometimes consume butter and cheese. My goal is to phase it out in the next few weeks so that I'll be dairy free. I suspect that my body doesn't process it well and may be contributing to adult acne breakouts.
I have, though, found a delicious substitute to cheese -- nutritional yeast! It doesn't sound appetizing but it is indeed yummy. I even eat it on its own. It's as if I can feel my body absorbing the wholesome goodness of this yellowish powder. For those interested, you can usually find it at health food stores such as Sprouts or Whole Foods. I'm definitely going to add it to my mainstays of whole fruits, vegetables, liver, eggs, fish, coconut oil, sweet potatoes, apple cider vinegar, and almond milk. I'm trying to get the vast majority of my vitamins from whole foods so that the only supplemental pills I need to take are omega-3s, MSM, probiotics, and glucosamine and chondroitin.
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.