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Saturday, May 11, 2013

I've been mulling it over. I'm not going back to the way things were. I'm not going to track everything I eat, live in restriction, etc. I did it for years, it got me nowhere, and I'm not doing it anymore.

I said I was done with the Diet and Weight Loss Empire. And I'm done.

I've chosen my path. I've left the crossroads behind. I'll whine, I'll fidget, I'll agonize, but whatever. I did all that before anyway.

Sure, everybody diets these days (especially if you're female - dudebros can get away with a few extra pounds, and aren't told to constantly starve themselves). But my general psychology professor taught me an important lesson:

What is TYPICAL isn't necessarily NORMAL, and what is NORMAL isn't always RIGHT.

Just because everyone is counting calories, restricting food groups, etc... doesn't mean that it's normal.

Hell, everyone used to smoke - it was typical. But it wasn't normal, and definitely wasn't safe, or the right thing to do.

I'm going to eat at least 1800 calories/day. I might eat more. I might mess things up, and I might gain a couple pounds. I'll get the f*ck over it.

My quality of life is SO MUCH BETTER since I gave up tracking in October. And I'm in the same clothes. I can eat ice cream without agonizing over exactly *how much* hot fudge is on it (yes, I eat ice cream, and yes, I'll eat hot fudge if I want it). I eat enough to GAIN MUSCLE, not just LOSE WEIGHT, and so now I can pick up Avery and throw him in the air (and catch him again, don't worry).

I just deadlifted 100 lbs the other day. No big deal. I'll do it again on Monday - maybe 105. I feel like I had a little left in the tank last time.

I know how to eat well. I eat whole foods, lots of fruits, veggies, protein. I rarely eat added sugars and candy. I hardly ever have fast food. I can run, walk, dig, lift, ride, etc... I am fairly healthy. I don't feel deprived - I don't like crappy food like chips, Cheetos, microwave dinners, etc...

(ok, I do like pizza
and ice cream
and cookies
and candy

But who doesn't? So what?)

My goal now is to chill the eff out. I'm only worried because my pants are feeling snug in the waist. But I had some pistachios, I was in Chicago last week, and at my mom's a couple weeks ago... it's fine. And my body is changing - Airin compliments me all the time on how things are looking different.

I might not be *smaller* but I'm better.


Thanks for all of your (detailed) support, everyone. I really do appreciate it. I feel like I have a fantastic support group here. If you want to know why I gave up "dieting"check out my blogs from around October 26th. That's when I realized I was doing what I was *supposed to* but with no results. That's when I decided I preferred no results with pizza instead.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm glad you are refocusing on your 'Eff the Diet Machine' movement or whatever you called it.
    Your fan club here (I'm the prez) admire you greatly and want you to be happy.
    1594 days ago
    I quit tracking for a few months. Gave myself and my body a break. I did gain, but honestly with moving and a thesis and surgery... it was inevitable. I just needed to not obsess about my food.

    Now that I'm starting to feel like crap though, I'm focusing on it more. I think our bodies will tell us when its time to refocus. Listen to yours. If it says, give me a break with all of this diet bs... then do it! You've got this!
    1595 days ago
    I think you have to do what works for you. If not tracking works for you? Awesome. You're obviously eating enough healthy stuff to be making awesome gains in the weight room.

    I can't restrict all the time, in terms of "oh I can't ever have ____", either. It makes me crazy.

    I am starting to think it's not so much about "dieting" or "restricting" as... just recognizing that we live in a messed up world. We have bodies that are designed to hoard energy for times of famine, and we live in an overabundance of food. I think it's not so much "diet", as.... okay, there's going to be food I don't need around me all the time. I have to just pick and choose which of it to eat, because it's not going to STOP being there.

    I don't know if that makes any sense, I'm just going with it lately. Like "Mother's Day brunch happens, let's just have pancakes OR an omelet, not both. meh."
    1596 days ago
    completely agree. & realistically, "diets" aren't something you are going to do/eat for the rest of your life so you may as well feel good eating a balanced version of what you already do/eat and know that you can achieve your goals regardless.

    Love your mentality & love to see you and everyone on here succeed!

    We've got this.
    ps: congrats on the 105lb lift! rawr to the max!!
    1596 days ago
    The statement at the end sums it up for me. You are healthy,strong, and have a great self image. That is what this it about. It is not about other people and their ideals. I feel the same - I will not be tethered to the computer inputing everything that crosses my lips and agonizing over 5m&ms. I'll just eat the damn m&ms and enjoy it.
    1596 days ago
    you know what?????? you are not the only one that made that realization dear. I did too and I feel much better not being tethered to a frigging computer or journal logging everything as I go. I do what I want and eat what I want with moderation and I am starting to remember the things that were so elemetary when I first started spark people with my old account.................That farmer's never had this problem reguardless if they were man or woman because they kept moving and kept themselves busy. They burned off all the calories they ate. and they actually lived life. So elementary i know but the truth. if we can keep moving we can succeed with our goals. It really doesn't matter what you do, just do it and have fun doing it. Live, truely live. now if only I can get my worry wort self to remember this I will be a happier person and then I'll really start to lose the extra poundage, lol. You have helped me in so many ways possible it isn't even funny. When I wanted to give up one of your blogs changed my mind so suddenly and I found myself asking me why was I gonna let the general public win. Well, they didn't win all because I have a friend like you. I am so so pround of you in more ways than you can imagine dear. keep up the great work
    1596 days ago
    I was thinking about all this the other day. How I used to track those little pink wintergreen candies (yes, they taste like pepto bismal and I like it!) and see if I had enough calories for them... 2 for 25 calories. I don't want to live like that!

    So today at Starbuck's, I got what I really wanted. A raspberry white chocolate mocha. And it was amazing. And a tall was just enough. Not a venti because it's a better deal, like I did in the past. :)

    I still have a long way to go to be a better eater, but when I look back at far I've come, I know I can make it!!

    Thanks for the inspiration!!

    Oh, I just read your previous blog and I am commenting here so you'll see it. :) You said something about if guys ever feel that way... and yeah, my husband does. He doesn't want to go to the gym because he thinks people will make fun of him, he talks about his body not being like he wants, and he won't be in pictures with me very much. He worries that he has man boobs instead of pecs and worries that I'll find someone else when I lose weight. So yeah, they maybe just aren't as vocal as we are.
    1596 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/12/2013 10:29:03 PM
    emoticon It feels so GOOD to find the "Right" Path for You. What works for You may not work for the next Person, and that is FINE!! We could all take a Page out of your Book (Blogs). You have Done Well.
    emoticon Congratulations!!
    1597 days ago
    PRETTYPITHY said it better than I could . . . you're goal . . . weight loss or healthy and look hot?? You're wight lifting and eating as it s right now is leading you to be helthyand look hot . . . so stick with it. Right?!?

    Happy Mother's Day and hugs.
    1597 days ago
    I'm with you all the way. emoticon
    1597 days ago
    Do you, girl. If you're not eating crap, my earlier points re cleaning up your diet are moot, as far as I'm concerned. Here's a question: is weight loss really your primary goal? Because if you just want to be healthy and look hot, you're on the right track and I'm not sure you need to lose weight to accomplish that.
    1597 days ago
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