Saturday, May 11, 2013
Remember the whack a mole game at the local fair or carnival?
So I've not been doing my best lately, and I'm starting to get disappointed with myself. I've let a huge amount of stress at work define me and lead me down the wrong path.
I returned from vacation feeling like I would be changing things. I felt like most of the changes at work were behind me . . . the horrible new workspace (quarters so tight that you have to ask people to move their chairs in order to get out of the room), the new boss, the drastic changes and uneasiness we've been feeling at work.
Imagine my surprise to return after a week off and find out that one of my co-workers was given the option to move or lose her job. It was a huge set-back in my mindset, and it's been a week of me being off my game again. And to make matters worse, they gave her time to transition her work over the next month or two, and she's not willing to stay. So her coworkers will have to figure out her workload and absorb it, when none of us were aware of how it worked. I can't blame her, but I have to admit that I'm not happy about it.
So yesterday afternoon I had a meeting with my new boss, and I was very honest with her. I told her that I don't mind change . . . I really don't. But being fed very large changes in a piecemeal fashion, one at a time, is not good. If you want our department to go in a different direction, then tell me where you want to be. If I disagree with it, I'll let you know, but I'll still get you there once I've given my opinion. Being delivered a new, awful message every week or two is counterproductive. You get used to one drastic change, you recover and get your morale back up a bit, and they pull the hammer out and smack you down one more time.
I don't know that my discussion got anywhere, but I will say that I need to find a way to not allow this to define my goals to become healthier and lose weight. So my goal this weekend is to make a plan for the week. Just one week! I will build something into that to reduce stress. I will build time for some healthier meals. I can no longer come home feeling exhausted and defeated and eat grab and go food.
Also on my agenda, a discussion with my former manager (my new manager's manager) explaining my "hammer" theory.
So I'm off to search for some healthy new recipes . . . make a grocery list . . . make a plan!
I'm fighting back against the hammer! I am not a mole to be whacked!