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Didn't expect It

Saturday, May 11, 2013

I was doing well all day. Took long walks in the sunshine, in the beautiful parks around me that are bursting with Spring. Then I stopped at the grocery store. When I turned into the aisle with all the Mother's Day cards I was suddenly crying. You see, I lost my Aunt Dotsy less then 2 weeks ago and she was like a mother to me. She raised me when my own mother died at my birth. She was a young newly married woman at that time and I never expressed what a Hero she was to me. She saved me. I don't know how to honor her or spend Mother's Day with her. I am trying to hide my tears- my reaction seems so stupid.

In any case- I was in the grocery store and suddenly became very upset and I purchased junk food! Chips, crackers & cookies. I ate some of it after dinner and DH and DD the elder have no idea why. I felt sick to my stomach. I'm not going to react like this anymore. I even took a nice walk in the park prior to the grocery store. One of those "Random Acts of Fitness" we are suppose to be getting and I was in a very good mood when I started shopping.

I have to anticipate the sudden tears. My aunt was very ill. Her passing is bittersweet.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • _VALEO_
    Crying is good and normal, and it's part of your grieving process.
    It takes time when we lose a beloved one, but tears help, just let go, express your emotions as they come.

    I feel your sorrow and grief and I wish I could make you smile a second, or trigger a positive image or memory just to ease your pain, or I could offer you my 'virtual' shoulder whenever you think the pain is too hard to carry all by yourself.

    1502 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/17/2013 6:50:44 PM
    My father has been gone for 15 years and I still have random moments when I something reminds me of him and I start to cry. Grief eases with time but never leaves us completely. Now I try to console myself with the knowledge that he loved me and that I was so fortunate to have him as my Dad.

    Time heals.
    1507 days ago
    Thinking of you in your time of sorrow. Get through however you can. emoticon
    1507 days ago
    emoticon I'm sorry for your loss and trust me your reaction is not stupid. When we lose someone that was so important in our lives little things that make you remember them can bring such strong emotions. It will get easier as time passes but this is new so grieve how you need to and keep moving forward in her memory.

    Happy Mother's Day!!!!
    1508 days ago
    Hugs to you, Harriet. emoticon
    1508 days ago
    Hang in there. Emotions are natural in grieving. Now you will know that turning to junk food just makes you feel bad. Try writing your aunt a letter telling her she was your hero and how much she meant to you. When you feel sad read it and enjoy all the love she poured into you. And have a good cry knowing that food will not make you feel better.

    I lost my mom in 2005 and I have found that I write about her in my gratitude journey even remembering silly little things that made us laugh or cry. Re-reading some of those stories often makes me feel better. emoticon emoticon
    1509 days ago
    Thinking of you! emoticon

    1509 days ago
    It's not stupid at all so don't be too hard on yourself. I lost my mother in 2004 and I still things which trigger sadness and it is never predictable and the tears are part of the healing. It's a shame it happened in the store and you bought junk food, but forewarned is forearmed so it shouldn't happen again.
    I went to the funeral of my mother's oldest friend ten days ago and ended up eating more than I should afterwards, so was kicking myself, but in the end, so long as we get back on track again it is no big deal and part of the learning curve on our journey. emoticon emoticon
    1509 days ago
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