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Reboot and miscellaneous, more personal stuff

Friday, May 10, 2013

The real estate closing finally went through, so I now don't need to move. I have a (small) nest egg, a steady income through the mortgage (which I'm holding, not because a bank wouldn't accept the borrowers - I learned that lesson years ago - but because the buyers are Amish and don't want to deal with "English" banks right now. It's all good - no worries) and several part-time jobs that I love - one as greenhouse keeper and landscaper for Heritage Farm ( ), one writing, one growing organic things and one doing artsy stuff. I'll get the links up for those in the near future, for anyone who wants to know what I do in my "spare time".

I've been marginally interested in the fact that I seem to have grown some sort of emotional exoskeleton that is fear-proof. I'm not afraid of change, but I'm not especially interested in it, fear, but no...other emotions that humans seem to relish. But that's not what we're here to talk about.

Parenthetical: (I've finally come to terms with the fact that, as a widow, an orphan with no relatives and an empty-nest person with no money to speak of, I have no one to please and no one to whom to be accountable but myself. I'm trying to figure out where one goes from here. I really am trying, and thanks to Bereavement counseling, I'm making some progress.)

Anyway, the thing about the land sale that becomes relevant here is that, now that I have money to spend on stuff, I seem to have reverted to old bad habits - too much salt, too much alcohol (can you read "margaritas" in this?") and generally eating Whatever instead of planning decent food. This, obviously, is not acceptable. I'm halfway through my weight loss, and I'll be damned if I'm going to regain the first half rather than going on to lose the second.

I bought a juicer (a Samson ...Advanced? Evolved? Improved? Anyway, better than the last one) and am preparing to do a Juice Reboot ( ) Please don't tell me how this isn't good for me long term - I don't intend to do it long term. I just need something incredibly structured to get myself turned around to face front again. I'm also growing wheatgrass to juice - the cats ate my first batch, but I'm replanting.

As if that weren't enough, I'm also doing the Spring Into Summer Challenge. Responsibility, thy name is Scooter. I will do for others what I would never bother to do for myself (we'll address that another time as well), so in order not to let my team down, I'll keep up with it. All the weighing and measuring and recording and generally trying to Play Well with Others.

I figure that between buying a new piece of moderately expensive kitchen equipment and being in a situation where others count on me, my Scots blood will keep me on track.

In fact, I'm seriously considering having the MacNeal badge tattooed on my person. It wouldn't be my first ink...that was 18 years ago, when my baby went to kindergarten. I took a sledgehammer to my bathroom, sold my Mercedes for $1 to the bathroom repair man - it needed $10,000 worth of body work - and got my first tattoo. Yet another thing for another day. I'll apparently be bending your ears (eyes?) for some time to come.
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  • ENUFF81020
    Hi there,

    I am impressed with your tone and your own control over motivation and action. I wasn't aware of all you have dealt with until I read this, and all I can think of to say is "Wow!!" You have really made a lot of tough decisions in a tough situation. Good for you--and a few margueritas in the big picture won't mean that you are tossing your healthy living program. I think we all need to indulge a bit and then, we realize what we need and want. You have done that.

    Best wishes on your challenge and your weight loss program. I suspect you will make it just because that's who you are. Congratualtions on it all!!

    Gentle hugs,
    1746 days ago
    The more I think about your blog, the better it sounds! Forgive me if you don't like her, but it puts me in mind of a Nora Roberts novel where the resourceful heroine triumphs over adversity, keeps her lovely old homestead, makes a living doing delightful things like running a bookstore, writing novellas, or growing herbs (with the Amish, even). All that's missing is the strapping young carpenter who lives in the farm across the way.
    1746 days ago
    Scooter I am so happy you are able to finally have a small nest egg to fall back on. Your jobs sound absolutely great. Right in your area of expertise.

    Are you able to do any of them at home or do you need to commute. I was whacking at my clay last night and i was thinking of you at every stroke. Today i was able to have day off because of the rain. I transplanted hostas and boy that took some S.T. for sure. I got them into the area beneath the trees . Tree roots are worse than clay but clay and roots together took too much time and many tools. Hostas are looking good.
    Today I bought red lupins just because DH loves them and they too will go in my small area.
    I hope you are feeling good about this wonderful turnaround. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Pat in Maine.
    I hope you will come to see the ocean this summer.
    1747 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/11/2013 9:13:21 PM
    You are an amazing courageous woman. I'm glad we're sharing this part of our journey together.
    1747 days ago
    I'm so glad your dire financial worries are over. I was very concenred if you would starve to death or freeze to death. It's very stressful to watch a friend deal with things like this when they have had to go through what you have.

    I love your part time jobs. They sound perfectly suited for you, (and me!) LOL.

    I would be in a similar situation if something happened to my husband. I think you are coping well. You have made some really hard decisions that are excellent.

    Good luck with the juicing and the challenge.

    1747 days ago
    You go girl and I am of the opinion since margarita and moderation both start with "M" they are made for each other. emoticon
    1747 days ago
    Well, you've never been one to beat yourself up for too long. Enjoy the juicer and the Challenge as much as you can, and REALLY enjoy that peace of mind that comes with not having to move out! You sound as if you're doing great, frankly.
    1747 days ago
  • _UMAMI_
    I keep wondering if you keep any chickens.......

    A few celebratory margaritas are understandable. You're in a good place, and your head is on straight. You have much to celebrate.

    1747 days ago
  • JANEDOE12345
    Great energy!
    1747 days ago
    It sounds to me like you're doing a fine, fine job getting along. I'm with the Amish on the banks. I wouldn't want to deal with them either. Personally I keep as much cash OUT of the bank as I can. Recently I realized I could save $25 a year in bank fees and interest if I paid for my car insurance all in one go rather than in monthly installments directly from my bank for which the bank charges, so my goal is to have $400 saved up for that come November, and another $1000 for new tires.

    Have fun with the challenge (although for me personally I felt it was far too much pressure and far too much extra time spent on the computer). I hope your juicing goes really well too and that you get the wheat grass before the cats.

    1747 days ago
    Love the strength and determination! emoticon
    1747 days ago
    So many similar things that parallel my life, including the tattoos. And emotions that humans seem to relish, and no fear. Congrats on finding several things
    you enjoy doing part-time. That's a huge step right there. Big hug.
    1747 days ago
    Wow!! You are definitely moving to a "better" place in your life!! Hooray for you. You, GF, deserve lots of good things in your life. It may have been hard to sell that land but now you have some security. Look at you doing all sorts of things with your life. Love the Heritage Farm concept and I'm eager to hear about your other exploits. I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you are receiving bereavement counseling. That is a gift to yourself!! I am thrilled at where you are!!! Nobody deserves it more!!!
    1748 days ago
    Good luck with the spring into summer challenge! I'm in it as well. I'm not as far as you are in my weight loss challenge but the small amount I have lost I don't want to gain or find it again. We can do this!
    1748 days ago
  • OWL_20
    Hi Scooter, saw you on Awesome A Team and I love your icon. Sounds like you're moving forward and thinking about possibilities, that's a great start. You're halfway thru the weight loss--I think that's awesome! And I really love the determination that's sneaking out of your blog. Hang in there, you're not alone. P.S. I would love to hear about the tattoo, too, hehe.
    1748 days ago
    Me too, said it so very well!
    emoticon (X 2)
    BTW, I will be front-and-center when you decide to delve into, "I've finally come to terms with the fact that, as a widow, an orphan with no relatives and an empty-nest person with no money to speak of, I have no one to please and no one to whom to be accountable but myself. I'm trying to figure out where one goes from here. I really am trying, and thanks to Bereavement counseling, I'm making some progress."

    I have no living nuclear family and no other relatives I'm in contact with, no children, no significant other, haven't had any counseling (nor can I afford it)...and at times I have some issues around all of that
    1748 days ago
    Sounds like a bit more security in the money department overall will be a good thing even if you're going a little overboard now. It must be a relief. I love your determination and your self-observation skills. You are made of strong stuff, I am sure you will achieve your goals. And probably also begin to feel again...bu that is a whole 'nother thing, isn't it?
    1748 days ago
    Your new life sounds deliciously complex and rich with possibilities.
    Congratulations on making it all happen.

    I especially like your determination to stick to your weight loss plan.
    "I'm halfway through my weight loss, and I'll be damned if I'm going to regain the first half rather than going on to lose the second."

    I agree!

    1748 days ago
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