Friday, May 10, 2013
The real estate closing finally went through, so I now don't need to move. I have a (small) nest egg, a steady income through the mortgage (which I'm holding, not because a bank wouldn't accept the borrowers - I learned that lesson years ago - but because the buyers are Amish and don't want to deal with "English" banks right now. It's all good - no worries) and several part-time jobs that I love - one as greenhouse keeper and landscaper for Heritage Farm ( heritagefarminc.org ), one writing, one growing organic things and one doing artsy stuff. I'll get the links up for those in the near future, for anyone who wants to know what I do in my "spare time".
I've been marginally interested in the fact that I seem to have grown some sort of emotional exoskeleton that is fear-proof. I'm not afraid of change, but I'm not especially interested in it, either...no fear, but no...other emotions that humans seem to relish. But that's not what we're here to talk about.
Parenthetical: (I've finally come to terms with the fact that, as a widow, an orphan with no relatives and an empty-nest person with no money to speak of, I have no one to please and no one to whom to be accountable but myself. I'm trying to figure out where one goes from here. I really am trying, and thanks to Bereavement counseling, I'm making some progress.)
Anyway, the thing about the land sale that becomes relevant here is that, now that I have money to spend on stuff, I seem to have reverted to old bad habits - too much salt, too much alcohol (can you read "margaritas" in this?") and generally eating Whatever instead of planning decent food. This, obviously, is not acceptable. I'm halfway through my weight loss, and I'll be damned if I'm going to regain the first half rather than going on to lose the second.
I bought a juicer (a Samson ...Advanced? Evolved? Improved? Anyway, better than the last one) and am preparing to do a Juice Reboot ( http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/ ) Please don't tell me how this isn't good for me long term - I don't intend to do it long term. I just need something incredibly structured to get myself turned around to face front again. I'm also growing wheatgrass to juice - the cats ate my first batch, but I'm replanting.
As if that weren't enough, I'm also doing the Spring Into Summer Challenge. Responsibility, thy name is Scooter. I will do for others what I would never bother to do for myself (we'll address that another time as well), so in order not to let my team down, I'll keep up with it. All the weighing and measuring and recording and generally trying to Play Well with Others.
I figure that between buying a new piece of moderately expensive kitchen equipment and being in a situation where others count on me, my Scots blood will keep me on track.
In fact, I'm seriously considering having the MacNeal badge tattooed on my person. It wouldn't be my first ink...that was 18 years ago, when my baby went to kindergarten. I took a sledgehammer to my bathroom, sold my Mercedes for $1 to the bathroom repair man - it needed $10,000 worth of body work - and got my first tattoo. Yet another thing for another day. I'll apparently be bending your ears (eyes?) for some time to come.