Friday, May 10, 2013
I went to the naturopath yesterday. Chatted about if she thought she could help me, and what my primary issues are. She says she is willing to help with coaching - how to work cooking and healthy eating into the crazy life of someone that is used to eating on the run. I should have asked if she would give me a meal plan complete with recipes and shopping lists that include the best store to go to for each item because I'm not a savvy shopper and if I don't find the item at the first store I go to, I give up. I HATE shopping. I have another appt on Tuesday, so we'll get more into that then. Of course what it always comes down to is that I'm sensitive to a lot of foods and unless I give those up... I'm not going to feel better and I'm not going to lose the weight. And I will have to give them up forever. So it is time to make the choice... once and for all... do I want to just live as I am and eat what I want? Or do I want to cook and eat foods I don't enjoy so that I can be healthy, energetic, happy and pain free? Seems like such a simple choice on paper. Just writing it brings tears to my eyes though. Why do foods stir up so many emotions?? It is JUST FOOD for crying out loud!! But the though of no more pizza... no more ice cream... no more cheese... no more candy... EVER... so emotional for me. I feel pathetic for being so attached to my favorite foods. The ones that are making every moment full of pain. I can't even walk right because of all the inflammation in my feet and my knees and I still want the instant gratification of my favorite foods. I can't sleep... my heart doesn't beat right and they are talking about burning a nerve in there to fix it when I know I just have to give up my favorite foods and it will go back to normal. It's happened before. Yet, I still have to think about it. It shouldn't be this hard. I should want to choose health and that should be enough. I hear so many people say that they had a health scare and that was all it took for them to clean up their eating. Why isn't it enough for me?