Friday, May 10, 2013
I just waxed eloquent once again on what has happened in the last 3 - 2 - 1 years: losing 20 lbs then gaining half of it back. The truth is, it's time to stop looking backwards. I've been rationalizing in order avoid my real attitude about myself: disappointment.
Yes, I've worked hard these last two months, but I'm not even sure what happened to make me gain the weight in the first place! I slowly got lazy? Portions got bigger, meals unhealthier?
I know that Spark is all about positivity and patience, and I'm on that boat too but the fact is I should have spent these last 2 months shredding those extra lbs to get me down to 130. It's like wasted energy, and here I am 13 days away from my wedding STILL OVERWEIGHT! Frankly I'm going to look exactly like I did 2 years ago. No super skinny Marie.
I recently read a book by psychologist Adam Phillips and the basic premise was that discontentment breeds change. That you must truly and profoundly feel, basically unhappy, in order to make real changes in your life. So here it is: I'm sick of fighting and still not getting where I want to be.