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MAPPLEBUM
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 10,539
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Two Month Assessment

Friday, May 10, 2013

I just waxed eloquent once again on what has happened in the last 3 - 2 - 1 years: losing 20 lbs then gaining half of it back. The truth is, it's time to stop looking backwards. I've been rationalizing in order avoid my real attitude about myself: disappointment.

Yes, I've worked hard these last two months, but I'm not even sure what happened to make me gain the weight in the first place! I slowly got lazy? Portions got bigger, meals unhealthier?

I know that Spark is all about positivity and patience, and I'm on that boat too but the fact is I should have spent these last 2 months shredding those extra lbs to get me down to 130. It's like wasted energy, and here I am 13 days away from my wedding STILL OVERWEIGHT! Frankly I'm going to look exactly like I did 2 years ago. No super skinny Marie.

I recently read a book by psychologist Adam Phillips and the basic premise was that discontentment breeds change. That you must truly and profoundly feel, basically unhappy, in order to make real changes in your life. So here it is: I'm sick of fighting and still not getting where I want to be.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KIKIMAV
    I think your body is very beautiful and AT NO CASE overweight!!!!!
    Maybe you are over-your ideal-weight but that's another thing!!!!

    You want to improve the image of your body and it is great that you are trying towards it, but if "overweight" and "super skinny" Marie are only 20 lbs apart, I think they both are very beautiful ladies. For sure you can prefer one over the other, but don't idolize the one and demonize the other!!!!

    About gaining weight, I have realized that tracking helps me very much, even when I go out of track so that I don't overdo it. Whenever I think I just ate just a little more , when I track my meal down I am surprised at how many hidden calories are hidden there.

    P.S. I agree very much with the "discontentment breeds change" theory!!!
    emoticon emoticon

    1302 days ago
  • PEZMOM1
    emoticon emoticon
    Eating right and exercising are making you healthier even if the scale is not showing any weight loss.
    1302 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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