Friday, May 10, 2013
Here I am. I finally got up the courage to start blogging again, and of course, I can't think of anything to say... Oh the irony!
I guess I can write about myself and introduce myself to anyone who happens to stumble across this little blip of a blog.
I am married, a house wife, and mom of 3 girls. We homeschool... and are very active in church, 4H, and other community groups. We live in a larger city, and we have an urban homestead complete with chickens, and soon rabbits. My husband is working on his 3rd degree, and working 2 jobs to pay the bills. I know everyone says they are busy, but we are BUSY!
I love working in the garden. But when I have a few extra moments I love knitting and reading.
Although I have a very full life, a life I love and would not trade for anything..... I have putmyself on the back burner. In the midst of life and taking care of everyone else, I have not been taking care of myself.
I am currently hovering about 190 lbs. I am 5'7".... so that is too much weight for my frame. But it is not the weight that really bother's me.
What bothers me is the fact that I look myself in the mirror, and I do not recognize the person in the reflection.
The person I picture myself to be, the one I remember myself to be, is not who is looking back at me through reflective eyes. I see myself, much thinner, with fewer wrinkles, and much stronger and able to take on the responsibilities in daily life.
The person who is looking back at me, is pudgy, tired looking, and -unable to do all that is needed. A person who's back aches mid-day, and who needs a second or third cup of coffee by 3pm.
Who I see, who others see, is not who I am. But yet, it is who I am... it is who I have let myself become.
So... here I am.
I am tired of looking in the mirror and not seeing the real me. And I need to change. I need to once and for all, put myself first, to take care of myself... so that I can once again become the person I know I am.
I need to put myself first. As selfish as that sounds, I need to put myself first, not in a selfish way.... but in a way that I nurture and build myself up so I can take care of the others that are in my life.