Shame Eating and a Tablespoon of Butter
Thursday, May 09, 2013
I took 2 donuts out of our break room today. I fully intended on eating them both. I slide one carefully over the straw of my water bottle and carried the other one in my hand. Anyone walking in would have viewed my double dipping of the chocolate dipped donuts. I didn't scurry back to my desk. I didn't wrap the donut in 3 layers of paper towel and hold it in my left hand close to my plus sized thigh. Unabashed, unashamed I'm taking two donuts. I sat down at my chair and ate the first donut. My admin. assist. had mentioned that they were good. Lighter than a standard donut. I bit in thinking, "This is gonna be heaven." It wasn't. It was just a nice donut. Not greasy, not heavy, but not earth shattering. I looked at donut number 2 - and then decided to plug donut number 1 into the meal plan first. I had budgeted for the donuts in my brain - so that wasn't the problem. I plugged in the numbers and up popped the calories and fat...and I looked at the 2nd donut and thought. You're not worth it.
It wasn't about eating or over eating.
It wasn't an epiphany about not having the donut.
But I did think, "I'd rather spend that fat on a nice pat of butter on tonight's yam."
And that's what I did... rather than 290 calories and 12 grams of fat towards a so-so donut...I just upped my yam experience tonight.
Those 107 calories and 12 grams of fat slicking up my orange orb of yammness was the delicious end to a delightful day.
In other news - I skipped a deep desire to spend those calories at Taco Bell or McDonald's - I had thought about going through for "Just a Dt. Mt. Dew" or "Just a Coke" - but no one's buying that line these days. Not even me.
Instead - I tossed a 200 calorie sprite from the trunk into my purse and thought - if the brink of dying from thirst happens on the ride home - the worst I could do was blow 200 calories on the sprite.
I didn't die of thirst. I didn't even come close.
The 374 calories of yam and butter goodness was still in the plan - still in the guidelines and I'm a happy fat kid with 9 days of no drive thrus on the books. Hopefully it gets easier as the pants get looser.