Thursday, May 09, 2013
So, it's check in time. Yes, I've been off Spark for more than a month. No, I haven't written anything in more than a month. I'v updated my status occasionally, and made comments on other people's blogs, but haven't written anything in quite a while.
Funny how life seems to ebb and flow. I had stopped checking out books from the library, had stopped doing a lot of reading, had not written much in my journal. And then cleaning off the desk in my room, I discovered the written word again.
So, I paid off my fine and checked out 3 books. I started writing brief commentaries in my journal and today, after an extended absence, I'm back to writing.
I'm back to collecting positive quotes also, which I post around my cubicle at work. I'm a firm believer in keeping the positive right in front of my face. The world is so full of UGLY stuff...to survive we have to actively keep the good where we can see it, feel it, hear it, ingest it. It's a constant fight.
And it's a choice. Our words and actions are our choices. Many people think that they don't have choices in life, but they do. We all do. Even the space between the proverbial rock and a hard place is often times a choice. The lesser of two evils, but still a choice.
I think about the 3 women recently freed from captivity in Cleveland. That woman who got the attention of the neighbor had a choice. She could remain where she was, or find a way out. Her choice.
Sometimes it takes us a long time to realize that we do indeed have choices in life. We can accept what is, or perhaps, make a change. And with most choices, it's never really clear cut. There may be good and bad things that come with the choice.
Is it ever really cut and dried?
Once long ago in my marriage I was quite unhappy. As I was walking through the parking garage at work I had a light bulb moment. "I don't have to stay." Now, as a Catholic, I have been taught to believe that marriage is forever. And in my heart I believe that you do "give it your all" and not toss a marriage away without working to save it.
But just that simple thought, "I don't have to stay," was freeing. Because knowing that deep down I had a choice made all the difference. Of course, I would have had to weighed the positives and the negatives, but again--I had a choice.
I'm still married, by the way, to that same man. Still in love.
Many times we think we have no choice, but we do. We just don't like the consequences that go with some choices.
My elderly mother needs me. I choose to be there for her. I could choose to not be there, but what might the consequences be? Numerous. Sadness, guilt, anger from my siblings, the list goes on and on.
Try it. Look at your options. Be honest about why you make the choices you make. Face the other choice with a critical eye. You may like where you stand. Or maybe not.