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Begining again.....lesson 1....stop living in the past (all of them)!!!

Thursday, May 09, 2013

Living in the past...is a dream like state of mind... myself I have two pasts that I could re-live... one of which I was nearly 400 pounds and only 28 years old....yeah I don't really re-live that life on a daily basis....the one I like to re-live is where I worked my ass off and dropped 180 pounds...the one where I ran a half marathon in under three hours and survived! The one where everyone looked at me and thought or said "wow....look at all she accomplished"....this is where i'm at...delusionaly in my head!

The REALITY!?!?!?! i'm no longer 199 pounds.... I am 257.
The REALITY?!?!?!?! no matter how much I said "I have allowed myself a ten pound buffer" um yeah....ten pounds plus ten pounds plus ten pounds eventually equals 50....

The REALITY....is I need to change my thinking, I need to get back to living my REAL life, not the one I had a year ago....I need to make some serious decisions and FOLLOW THROUGH with them...regardless of how my day went, regardless of what I decided to do last night or how badly I want to go out and party....regardless of the craziness called my life....those are just easily disposable excuses...

I can no longer live in the past....I must live in the now, and prepare for the future...
I can no longer make lame excuses for being lazy...just because something else sounds more fun....
I have made BIG changes in the past 4 months....and I am worth continuing those changes

enough about that....today I ate like crap...admittedly....but I did hit the elliptical!! yay...30 minutes and 400+ calories!!
I finally have tv and internet and an elliptical machine all in the past two weeks...so definitely no excuses on crappy or lazy days!!!

Living and Loving life....in the here and now
Until tomorrow!
The big A!!
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