well! week two is done!
i had been dreading stepping on the scale for a week now... and well, with great intrepedation, i weighed myself...
I LOST THREE POUNDS!
and i DON'T want to "find" them again! so, maybe a should say, i got RID of three pounds! woo-hoo! i am so happy. now, i know that it isn't all about the scale, but i must admit, it DID brighten my mood!
after, i went to go train, at the dojo (karate training place), and worked my butt off! it felt so good! i finally left about 12:00, and i had to go into town, and get some money out of my bank... i passed by all my favorite resturants (mcd's, wendys, kfc, taco bell), guess what??? that is all i did, was PASS by them! i didn't even feel the craving to get something at any of them!
what i have been really working on is the "recordings" in my head...
"you are worthless"
"you can't do this"
"you will quit"
"it is too stressful"
"you are tired"
"you are fat, why not accept it?"
"this is too hard"
"it is taking too long"
and many more, but i have been trying very hard to to STOP
the thoughts when they come. i have tried to be more mindful of what i have been thinking. having such negative thoughts are so self-destructive!
. and i HAVE gotten a little better at it. believe me, i am NOT cured, but i try to be mindful, and try to change what i am thinking, or remember that i am not that same person i was two short weeks ago.
i have a LONG way to go, and i am nervous about it, but i am taking one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, ONE BREATH at a time. live in the moment...
and gosh, i can't believe i am gonna quote another thing from "yoda"... but here goes...
"your focus becomes your reality"
so i am not gonna focus on the negative, i am gonna focus and getting fit, training, ect...
on to week three...