Thursday, May 09, 2013
(09May13) - I had my second PRT last month. Failed by 1 inch. Not good. After busting my butt to lose 19 pounds and 8% off my bmi in a month, disappointed is an understatement. It's ok though. I'm determined to get an Excellent on my next one. I am pumped. I've got alot of big things coming up and I'm more motivated than ever. By the time October gets here I would like to be at least 20 pounds closer to my goal weight. I'll be heading to Italy where sexy italian men will be serving me wine so I need to be looking hot! Also, July is coming up and I'll be running my first 5k (Color Vibe). Really looking forward to that. At the end of this month I'll be starting the Body for Life program with my Aunt. She has about 200 pounds she has to lose for her health. I'm hoping that by agreeing to do it with her that it'll help her stay motivated and help me gain the body I've been working for. We will see. More to Come. Let's Go!
(15May13) - Today was supposed to be the first FEP (Fitness Enhancement Program) meeting so I'm in kind of a down mood. The front page of the Navy Times also has an article in it about how inaccurate and inconsistent the taping system is. So apparently, it's a Military wide problem... I doubt anything will be done to fix it though and that is what irritates me the most. I shouldn't have failed. I was where I needed to be. Granted, I was right on the line but I was still there. My aunt and I are starting the Body for Life program on Monday. It's supposed to be a 12 week problem to help me get in my best shape. My goal is to lose at least 20 pounds by the end. I also recently purchased the BodyMedia armband. I don't know how accurate it is or how it works being connected to this site but I figured seeing the numbers would help motivate me. My motivation really fluctuates. I just hope I can find it when I need it.
(21May13) - Yesterday was day one in the Body for Life challenge that I started with my aunt. So far so good I would say. The program comes with a journal for logging food and workouts. It's almost like a game. I'll be excited to see what the results are after the 12 weeks have been completed. My goal is to stick it out for the entire 12 weeks. I have to remember that I'm not just doing this for myself but for my aunt as well. She needs me to stick with her in this. I was over my calorie intake level for yesterday and I failed to make it to the gym but today I was under my goal and I got my gym time in. Feeling pretty good about that. I had half a day off today so I was able to get some stuff done. I cut up fruit and started preparing my meals for the week. I also created some new logs to keep track of things. First mock prt is June 11th. I have my first weigh in on Thursday too. Hopefully I'll have some sort of progress to show. If I don't I cant be disappointed when I haven't put the work in. I've gained at least 2 pounds since weigh ins though. I'm sure the fitness people will be happy to see that. Small steps Brittley. Small steps.
(22May13) - I kind of already knew this but today I truly realized that I am an emotional eater. The results for the advancement exam came out and I missed picking up rank by 2.4 points. I'm sad and I'm disappointed and I really just want some sugar. Typically, I would just go downstairs to the NEX and buy some candy. Blame it on a bad day and then beat myself up for it later. I also think that the time of day has something to do with this. I start to lose energy after lunch time so this is also where the craving for candy comes in. Trying desperately to fight it. Just have to keep reminding myself of my goals and how each time I deny my feelings food, I'm one step closer to success. Sweet success.
(23May13) - Today, I am so exhausted. I had a pretty rough night. My anxiety got the best of me and I ended up having a nervous breakdown. There are just so many things going on and I feel like I'm not strong enough to carry them all. I was able to fight my sugar cravings yesterday. I was definitely proud of myself for that. Today the fight will be against caffeine to keep me awake. I work a full day today and then have watch tonight from 23-07 and then work until noon tomorrow. I usually just stock up on redbull and sugar to keep me awake but I'm going to attempt to do it without those things. We will see how it goes. It is crazy to me to have realized how dependent I am on food. Of course we use it to sustain us and because our body needs it. I use food to cure boredom, for comfort, for entertainment, as a reward, there are days when I'll be sitting at the office and I'll just whip out something to start nibbling on. It's almost an unconscious action. I'm glad that I'm starting to notice these little things. Today I will focus on pulling myself up by the bootstraps and pressing on. Workout number three for this week will be a rough one. I'm hoping to feel it in the morning. Those workouts are my favorite. Rough rough rough. Guess that is the word of the day. Here we go.
(29May13)-I talked to my aunt today. She hasnt been following the plan. The stress is getting to her. I had to give her a little pep talk so hopefully she'll get back to it. It's alot harder for her than it is for me. I think once you reach a certain point you just give up and it's hard to get going again. I'm rooting for her though. I know that she can do it. We're going to do it together. As for myself, I havent seen any weight loss yet but I'm starting to fall back into the routine of working out every day. I think next week I'll really get back into going to the gym twice a day. If I want to see real results I have to put in real effort. I backslid quite a bit this 4 day weekend but everyday is a new day and I think it's important to remember that yesterday's failure does not determine today's victory. Stay motivated.
(June 15,2013) I'm currently watching Extreme Bodies on Netflix. The episode is on Morbid Obesity. The man being featured weighs over 700 pounds. This scares me. Another man on the episode is 1000 pounds and is bed ridden due to lack of mobility. I don't understand how some one can let themselves get this big. I'm scared that I'll wake up one day and not be able to function normally due to my weight. Presently, I'm only 13 pounds over the max for my height. In November of 2012, I was almost 200 pounds. In just a few months I dropped 12 pounds but I'm still so far away from where I need to be. I really hope that it was indeed the medication that caused such a large weight gain and that as soon as I can get it back off I'll only have to maintain. I don't want to struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. Yes, I like food. Yes, I have a sweet tooth. Yes, I stress. I understand that all of these things combined factor in, but they can be managed. I cant ever let myself get that far.
(July 19, 2013) I've been going through the blogs of other members alot today. The one I just read, the woman was pretty discouraged. It was actually nice to read. I joined sparkpeople about a month and a half ago when I really decided to get serious about fitness. I have yet to see any results, both in my weight or in body measurements. There are days when I too am feeling incredibly discouraged by lack of results so it was nice to read that I'm not the only one who feels it. If I've learned anything about fitness and weight loss it is that it is a slow moving process. In today's society, we want everything right now. Drugs, surgeries, miracle diets, etc. claim they have the solution to weight loss but if they did, the entire world would be healthy as a horse. Instead heart disease, contributed to by obesity is a leading cause of death. It takes more than just making the decision to get fit though and it will be a struggle. It's takes hard work and dedication. It's important though not to give up. I feel like someone, somewhere is watching me and looking to me for motivation. Everytime I see someone bounce back from a struggle, it makes me want to get out there and push harder. I'm really glad that I joined sparkpeople. This isn't a task that we are meant to handle on our own so being part of such a large, supportive community makes all the difference. I hope that my story, my struggle, my success will be encouragement for at least one person down the road and as a result they too will find success.
(June 21, 2013) I had my weekly weigh in today. I managed to finally lose 1 inch off of my hips putting me back into Navy Fitness Standards. I'm so excited I literally skipped down the hall. Took a month of busting my butt just to lose one inch but the feeling I had when they told me I was at 33% made it worth it. In April I was 41% body fat and now I'm down to 33% ! Slow process but there is progress! I'm feeling super motivated to just keep pushing but even when the results aren't what I think they should be I know I still need to keep pushing forward! I talked to my aunt yesterday and she told me that she didn't know how I was staying so motivated despite having results. I told her that weight loss was a goal but that an overall healthier lifestyle was what I was truly aiming for. On days that I feel like giving up I just have to remind myself that I'm setting an example: for my family, for the sailors under me, for the other members of my team on sparkpeople. FitBrit! FitBrit!
July 11, 2013 - I didnt excercise once my entire 7 days on leave. In fact I didnt do much moving around at all. Alot of the days I spent staying up late and sleeping in until my head hurt, followed by some lounging around the house. I know that it really didnt help me in terms of reaching my goals but I feel like it did help in the sense that I had a chance to mentally detox. Sometimes, a rest day can be exactly what the doctor prescribed. I had a chance to get to the pharmacy and pick up my medication too. I've been dealing with bouts of depression again from focusing too much on this weight problem. When I started this, the goal really was to just get healthier. I think it is important to live an overall healthy lifestyle. As the days go by and the deadline gets closer it has become an obsession to get this weight off. Not seeing any result from the work has really taken a toll on me. I don't know what to do, I really feel like I'm at my wits end when it comes to my body. I've sought help from professionals and they all tell me the same thing. Which is great, except I'm already practicing those things and still have nothing to show for it. I know that I can't give up but man I sure want to. I just have so much riding on the line. My career being the biggest thing. I don't want to lose it all over this fat, espcially after working as hard as I have. I guess I just need to push harder. Just have to find that energy.
July 15, 2013 - I gained a few pounds while I was on leave, thankfully I think I've managed to get them all off again. I went to see the nutritionist on Friday who wanted me to go in and have some labs drawn today. They took 7 tubes of blood. We're trying to figure out why I'm not losing any weight. If its because I'm not pushing hard enough then I will just have to push harder, if it's because of something medical then hopefully they can get me back on point. This weekend I made the time to clean out my kitchen. I've been allowing myself a cheat day during the week but I've decided to cut that out. I hate to waste food or money but that is no longer an excuse. If I hadn't wasted the money on the junk in the first place I wouldn't have had to waste the money into the trash can. I threw out everything! 4 garbage bags worth of just junk! I wasn't eating it necessarily but just having it in the house wasn't good for me. I'm also working on planning out my meals for the rest of the month. I've at least got the first couple of weeks down. I'm also going to start turbofire today. I'm telling you that if all this extra stuff doesn't work I very well may just give up. I'm giving this absolutely everything that I have. I know that excercise is supposed to be an antidepressant and this miracle cure all but my anxiety and depression are only getting worse the more I work. My therapist started me back up on medication so I'm really praying that through the combined efforts of all this something will show. Something has to show... right?