In my last blog post I went into the notion that ones thoughts are not necessarily what one agrees with or even needs to identify with.
For me this comes down to getting annoyed
with these thoughts, this undermining, useless, and often harmful thoughts. They can be harmful to you and those around you. When we don't take care of ourselves, it spills over into every other aspect of our lives. Those around us suffer because we are caught up in this inner turmoil of good self vs. bad self. We are grumpy
, we can't just go out and have a good time, we get caught up in these silly internal conflicts which upon closer examination display just how ridiculous they really are. You can write down what you have been thinking, what you have been feeling, and then see just how foolish it was, just how juvenile.
Case in point: I have been struggling with being weird with my food around other people. I have felt that if I don't eat
with the group
, that I was judged or that it made other people feel weird. Well, my Dad has often skipped eating just because he wasn't hungry (can you guess has the worse weight problem? yeah its me.
) He doesn't worry about it. But I worry.
Why? I don't know. But, the cool part about a meditation is that it works whether you know the reason or not. The reason isn't necessary. You can release the pain or struggle by imagining golden healing energy infusing it. Do this for a couple of nights before bed (not asleep, just restful.) and you will feel much better. The trick is recognizing what you are doing. Without knowing what you are doing, you can't heal it. You can't move on until you know what you want to leave behind.
So that is the take home for the day:
1. Realize that you aren't behaving the way you wish you were.
2. Write it down: be honest. Say to yourself, 'When this happens, I feel this way.' Then analyze whether or not it makes sense or if you are sublimating yourself to the whims and unreasonable demands of others. Don't sacrifice your health on the alter of controlling people.
3. Do the meditations
to heal it.
Congratulations!!! Now you are free.
Go listen to Gary Go's 'Wonderful'.
'Say I am wonderful!!!!!'