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Getting Out of These 20s

Thursday, May 09, 2013

I am hanging on to size 20s and I don't know why. The 18s have fit for a while, but they were snug. Well...they aren't snug anymore, they fit just right. Yet I still have two size 20 pants that I keep around. I put them on in the morning, and by 10 am I'm cursing myself and the way they fall down. The way they make my butt all baggy. The way they are just too long and I can feel that the crotch is half way to my knees (only a slight exaggeration).

I didn't do this with the 22s. I was only too happy to put them in the "donate" bag as soon as they were loose. I've got to get rid of the 20s. They are too big, and they are part of the past. Do I keep them as "insurance" so that if I slip up I will have something to wear? Or am I just in denial that I am really a size 18 again? I think its the latter.

While I'm on that subject, I'm also going to have to face the music with the shirts. I haven't had to worry about replacing shirts so much because I am well endowed in the bosom area. Even when I was in high school, a size 8, I was still wearing a C to D cup. I was a 44DDD at the highest weight, now I am a 40DD, or maybe 38DD. I was still trying to wear the 44DDD and 42DDD, but as the wires and bands under my arms were beyond uncomfortable, happily I was forced out of them. The bras I'm wearing now still don't fit quite right, and as you can see from my Reward Chart on my Spark Page sidebar, in 10 more pounds lost I'm getting professionally fitted and getting two new bras.

I've been wearing 1X shirts, down from a 2X originally. I saw a shell top in my closet this weekend, a 2X. I had only worn it a few times, it was one of my "nice" tops. However, even I am not in so much denial as to think that if I put that on it will remotely look nice.

It's still not in the donate bag. It's still hanging in the closet. What is my deal?!

Okay, this is me saying that I will put it in the donate bag tonight. I will put the pants there too once I wash them (told you I was still wearing them). This is just crazy of me. I also need to go through the other shirts. I have a few XL shirts that are still a bit snug, but I have 1X shirts that are too big. For example, I am wearing 18 slacks today with a 1X shirt. The pants are perfect, but the shirt has been baggy for a while in the waist and arms...but as I type this I can look down and the neckline and breast area is baggy. What?! Seriously, it looks like you could fit a grapefruit under my armpit and still have excess fabric.

I'm sure we all go through it, but it's just so hard to recognize what size you are, especially when you shrink. When I get bigger, I notice the tight pants, oh yes I do. Smaller, and I don't notice until my pants are falling off. Or someone says something. Which just puts me on the roller coaster of self-doubt and embarrassment for being noticed. I'm weird, its whatever. Obviously part of my weight issue has been a "don't look at me!" cloak of fat and frumpy.

I'm over it. Time to move on.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    The motivational posters are great!
    I like to get rid of my old clothes when they're too big, because I balk at the idea of spending my money to re-purchase clothes in a size I already broke up with. For me, it's one more motivation to not backslide.
    Best wishes,
    emoticon Sadaparibhuta

    1652 days ago
  • SAMI199
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Donate those baggy pants-I have the same problem going on-down a size & still hanging on too the bigger size-WTH? I'm following your lead..off they go!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1653 days ago
    1654 days ago
    I had a few things that I was having a hard time parting with so I had them made smaller. Do treat yourself to a great new bra as it is something you wear all the time. emoticon
    1654 days ago
  • BBECKER1955
    Way to go! Thanks for the reminder that I really need to spring clean my closet.
    1654 days ago
    great blog, clothes are often my nemesis, so I can relate
    1654 days ago
    I did a huge "purge" of clothes last year, and it felt great. However, I noticed I still have a number of XL t-shirts that are just WAY too big, and I need to do a purge on them as well. Thanks for the reminder, and good luck on your donation as well!
    1654 days ago
  • _BABE_
    First of all congrats on losing the weight necessary to go down to a comfortable size 18.

    I don't know what to tell you on the size 20 pant insurance policy. I might keep a pair too just in case which many would say is a defeatist attitude.

    What I do know is that you should get professionally fit for a new bra....treat yourself!
    1654 days ago
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