Ever since my first fall this spring, I have had a lot of time to digest all of the instructions from my various doctors. One of things I asked each was, when I'm stronger can I start a training program for running. Each one had the same answer - NO!! My primary doctor told me honestly he didn't think I would not or should ever. My goal was to be able to run at least a little of "26.2 With Donna" that is held in Jacksonville each year. It is the only national marathon for breast cancer awareness. "Donna" is a newscaster on our local NBC station. She had to deal with breast cancer twice. She has written a book about her journey and started a foundation to help provide for lower income women in need in Duval County. thedonnafoundation.org/d
Link to Donna's book.
Link to the marathon.
To say I was disappointed is an understatement. But since my next two falls and my labs not being so good, I've come to accept some goals must be given up on because of limitations. I'm happy I no longer have to be in my power chair every day. That's something I never thought would happen.
I don't often go into stores with Bob, but I did one day last week. The rain stared to really come down, so I stayed inside until he finished getting gas and pulled up in front of door. But during the wait, no one else was inside. The clerk and I started to talk about a very tiny church around the corner from the store. She was telling how much singing they do. I was a little sad when I told her I was in a choir most of my life, but since the tonsil cancer radiation I can no longer sing. I had my head down thinking about what I had said. I looked up into her face and smiled broadly and told her at least I was alive and giving up singing wasn't that big a sacrifice. Another goal destroyed.
But what I said was true. Before I would have found the thoughts of giving up would be unacceptable. But now, not so much. When we have those kinds of limitations happen, we cannot let them rule our lives. We must take back control. Yes, I'm still alive when the oncologists thought I might not be. accepting what I thought of as unacceptable or giving up on a goal is something so little compared to the alternative, that it doesn't bother me any more. So I can no longer run and no longer sing, so what? I'd much rather be able to spend my days with Bob and my buds. Those things are what matter in life - family and friends. The other stuff was only icing and we all know what sugar does to us.
By living my life the very best I can, taking control back over my choices, and being happy for my faith, family, and friends, I have finally accepted it all. I hope if you are in a situation that has given you limitations because of which you can no longer achieve some of your goals, you'll remember this entry and know the icing is sugar and not very good for you.
Have a wonderful upcoming weekend, In the US Sunday will be Mother's Day.
If you are like me and no longer have your mother with you and you were never blessed with children, I'm sure you have been like a mother to someone or an older woman has been like a mother to you. So celebrate anyway. You deserve it.
Peace Love Cure