Wednesday, May 08, 2013
I first joined this website two years ago. That seems crazy to me. I've always battled with my weight and I've also woke up many mornings with the thought of starting over. I've yo-yo dieted and after completing my sixth year in college and graduating (hooray) I now hold two degrees and an additional 100 lbs from when I graduated high school. Who would think you could gain 100 lbs in six years? It's insane. Well, I'm a bored eater, a stress eater, well an everything eater. I also battled with depression and confidence issues my entire life. With the depression and weight gain, I just finally let myself go, allowing myself to accept that I will always be overweight, so I stopped trying.
One of the biggest times of despair for me is when I find clothes I love, but can't even fit half my body into. Since high school the internet world has gotten larger and made it incredibly easy for me to finally find stylish clothes in my size. So when I realized I could still dress cute and be heavy, it made me care even less.
My depression and weight has completely made me a hermit. I don't like going out with friends, I dread even going out to the store. I'm paranoid about my appearance 24/7 being at work or even at home with my boyfriend of almost two years. As long as I avoid the mirrors, which I do, I don't see my body so I can just ignore it.
I've been fortunate that I haven't gotten picked on about my weight. Everyone has always been nice and considerate. It wasn't until I saw a family photo of myself that I realized how far I let myself go. My mom has always been heavy, around 300 lbs and I always judged her for it. I know that is terrible, because I do love her, but I always saw her struggle. I just always told myself I'd never be like her. Then I see this family picture and we're near the same body. I sunk immediately inside myself. Number two shocker, I was hanging out with a friend and she drove an older car - meaning not new cars with seat belts expanded for our large current society. I wasn't able to buckle my seat belt and was mortified. Third shocker was when I went to the doctors and first saw my weight then second had to put on the "obese" patient gowns. Mind you I was still swimming in it, but it was the first time I'd ever had that done.
I know that I cannot stick to diets, I also know that I always work out then stop. I wasn't searching for answers at the time, but I saw hope when I saw a girl that works at the same place I do lose 100 lbs in months. I didn't know her well, but found a way to talk to her and find out what she did. She did a doctor monitored liquid fast diet. She lost 100 lbs in 7 months. Amazing right? So I started investigating and found a doctor in my city that supported the diet. Most doctors suggest surgery unfortunately, which I don't want.
So the diet, is Optifast. It's a high protein, low calorie shake that you drink five times every day. I researched online alternatives i.e. Medifast, homemade drinks, even WonderSlim. What I can tell you - is that I've tried them all! Homemade drinks do not by any means have the correct nutrients or low calorie high protein options, WonderSlim is a powder that you mix in to pudding or shakes and was AWFUL tasting. It also doesn't have to correct high protein either! Medifast would be the most comparable, and is is cheaper, but doesn't taste that great either. It does have more food options which is nice, but again, most don't taste great and you're on your own on the diet. Only you can support yourself.
I know it doesn't seem necessary to have a doctor involved, but for me my doctor is who holds me accountable. I've learned very well over the years that I can't hold myself accountable. I go in every week for a ten minute check up to get my weight and get the new weeks product. Yes, it is extremely expensive ($130 a week/ $520 a month) BUT if you were to ask me, what price would you pay to lose 100lbs and be happy and healthy? I promise it would be even more than that price.
So today I return to Spark People to document my new journey on hopefully losing 100 pounds as I am just starting the Optifast diet.
The first week is stated to be the hardest, battling hunger and tiredness. I'm actually just feeling like my normal lethargic self. At my weight, I never have energy and with my depression, nothing motivates me. The shakes taste great, way better than I thought, perhaps because they're in part created by Nestle? Haha.
First week is 5 shakes and 8 glasses of water a day, then next week I can have the Optifast bars or soups and start exercising. The doctor said he expects me to lose around 10 lbs this first week. I really hope so! My now friend that did the diet told me that it's hard fasting while other eat, but the fast weight loss is the most motivation.
Has anyone else had Optifast Dieting experience?