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    JAXMOMMY   157,972
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Thanks, Especially TEDDYBEAR662


Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Hi. Thank you all for the comfort, support and prayer you all have shown me over these difficult months! I especially want to thank a dear Spark friend, Missy, aka TEDDYBEAR662, for her prayers. In my last blog I was pondering if I made the right decision placing my dad where he is for rehab after his stroke and wondering how I will know when it is Jack's time.... When I will be forced to take him in and have his precious life put to rest.

Well, I went to visit Dad yesterday and he was in Occupational therapy and ready to start Physical therapy. We chatted as they had him putting screws int o washers or something for OT. He told the OT that he was grateful for all they do and then he started crying. His emotions have been on edge ever since the stroke, so he cries alot. He probably needs to cry. the man has had a tough life. anyhow, I knew at that moment that he was in the right facility. He is happy there and that is what really matters over all. He then said how determined he is to walk. they had him up on the parallel bars and he even took a few steps. I didn't want to invade his workout, so I left. But, he said that he was very happy and very proud of the progress he has made. As I said before, the church is near so people can come by and see him after church. We are Catholic, so he has visitors on Saturdays and Sundays. Also, the facility is near many of his friends, so a few can walk over to see him and they do. I could've run up to NH and kissed Missy! She had started praying that God help me find the answers I needed. I did on that count.

Jack had a horrible day yesterday as we had many thunderstorms. He's always been a bit frightened of thunderstorms, but yesterday he was a mess. I could not calm him! I really believe the anxiety is a product of the brain tumor. I'd almost bet that the brain tumor was just starting to form when he started this ultra storm anxiety a couple years ago. Today so far has only been rain, so that is good I guess. I often think he is giving me signs it is time, but he isn't giving those same signs to Anthony! He peps up and walks a bit straight when Anthony comes home. I'm sure he is showing me "the worst" because I am the mommy here and I am supposed to comfort and nurture. I do, but I also cry alot. I do trust that Jack will let us both know, but right now he is sleeping at my feet. I can't stand the thought of putting him down. But, I know that day is coming and it will be for his, not my, best and isn't that what mommies are for?

The med increase seems to be helping. I'm not always teary, but do cry right often.

I'll get thru it all. somehow I always do. My head hurts and I have to watch some DVDs for my licensure renewal, so I'm outta here for now! Thank you all again and again! I truly couldn't do this without all of you!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
2BEHEALTHY2014 5/9/2013 1:24PM

    I am so glad you got the sign that your Dad is in the right place. I thin you're probably right about Jack wanting sympathy from you. I sure you'll know when the time has come. That would be such a hard decision to make. God will give you the strength when the time comes. I've always believed that he doesn't give us more than we can handle. Sending hugs your way.

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 5/9/2013 11:40AM

    I donn't know what to say, so I'll offer a hug *HUGS* You'll get through this!

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FIT4MEIN2013 5/9/2013 11:09AM

    Melissa, I did not know you and didn't know any of this, but do know that God answers prayers daily. His miracles are all around us. Sometimes the miracle is His comforting arms holding us when we are heartbroken. Praying for you now....

~~Jaynee emoticon

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FUSIONFITNESS3 5/9/2013 1:06AM

    Thanking God for answered prayers for your Dad's happiness and quality of life, Melissa. Also thanking Him that you can now be at peace with the knowledge that your choices for your Dad have been good ones for him and the right ones. Continuing to pray that he will experience continued healing as he participates in his rehab. Melissa, your Dad is so blessed to have you, his caring and loving daughter.

It must be so difficult to see Jack, your baby, suffering so. You'll do the right thing for him when the time comes.

Always thinking of you.
Maria

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TEDDYBEAR662 5/8/2013 10:50PM

    Oh Melissa... now you have me crying!!! I'm so happy that our prayers have helped you. Thank-you for what you said above. But it's not me, it's our trust in God and he loves us all... even if we aren't the praying kind. Oh, I'm all teary eyed now... Thanks for the warm fuzzy!!!

So glad your daddy cried! I'm sure he needed it! It's good for him! Also very happy he is doing well at the place and told you! like it was said below, one less thing you have to worry about! I'll continue to pray for him!!! God bless.

As for Jack... it's got to be hard. I'll pray that God helps Anthony with what is happening and when Jack's time comes, you'll both be able to do what is needed. Liked how you said before that your Mom, Sister, & Brother will be there for him when that time comes! HUGS!!!!

I'm just still in shock from this blog. I'm so very happy I have helped you, but I can't even start to tell you how much you have helped me. I always tell people that their were two things I did right... One join my MOMS Ministry at church (I'm Catholic too) and join the SP AMC team! I gained TWO families that I love dearly. What's even cooler about meeting all my AMC Sparkie friends is that I have never met you guys, but feel like you are my family!!! I Love that! I'm so grateful to my doctor who told me about SP. I might not be at my goal weight, but made some awesome friends for life!!! Okay, I have to stop because I could go on and on. Just wanted to say "thank-you" for being my friend Melissa! I love you and will ALWAYS be praying for you and your family!!! God bless.
HUGS emoticon Love emoticon and Prayers emoticon

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BESCATS 5/8/2013 9:13PM

    So glad to hear that your mind was put to rest with the issue of your Dad. One thing you don't have to worry about now. He is so lucky to have such a caring daughter. God Bless both of you.

I'm glad that Jack was better today. Most dogs don't like thunder, I know mine don't, but I think they become more afraid when they are not feeling well. I'm sure she loves to be close and cuddle with you. Mom's make things better.

We are all praying for you. I am Catholic too, and our belief in God is strong.
Me strong, Melissa. God loves you.

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LESSOFMOORE 5/8/2013 8:29PM

    Thanks for letting us know that you're feeling better. We are all praying for you!

Hugs,
Cyndie

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TANYA602 5/8/2013 8:15PM

    'Thinking of you daily, and I am always so moved by what you are going thru and so thankful that Anthony is there to love and hold you. Hold on tight, dear.

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BIGPAWSUP 5/8/2013 6:17PM

    Hugs and love. We are here for you. I wish there was so much more I could do.

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BEEJAY49 5/8/2013 5:51PM

    Love you! HUGS!

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SOFEDUPP 5/8/2013 5:50PM

    Melissa, that is what we are here for. I know that I have been praying for you everyday that God helps you through this. And he will. I am glad you think your father is in the right place now. Moving him would be difficult since he would have to start everything all over again; and I am sure he would not be happy with that.

As for Jack, it is going to be a difficult decision to make. You said that you think that Jack is showing you signs, do you think that Anthony is ignoring signs because he isn't ready to let him go?

That is why we love Missy!!! She is an awesome sparkfriend!!!

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JOANNKW 5/8/2013 5:07PM

    So glad that you are feeling better about the placement for your Dad. Yay to TeddyBear662! I'm still praying for you.

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