EMMAEKAY

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Grown-up Problems

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Man, today I am having some Grown Up Problems™. And they suck!

I'm not super ready to talk about it with my actual, legit friends and family. I don't know why. I guess because I'm more accountable to them, and the decisions I make will effect them more seriously, and blah blah blah. Maybe I'm just a weenie.

I'm gonna talk about it here because this has been my "safe place" for the last year and a piece. And you guys are great, and have nothing to lose no matter what I do!

And you know, it's not even that big a deal.

I'm considering a new job. But I absolutely LOVE this job, and the people I work with, and the non-monetary perks of internet access and a very free dress code. It's close, it's fun, and I'm a leader here.

But I don't make any freaking money. I just don't. My income barely cracks the poverty line. When we add C's income, it's all good. But I'm not making enough to be happy with my station - I'm not making enough to get out of the "renter's hole."

There are a couple great positions available outside the company that I'm really interested in. One is with the city's school system as an administrator's assistant. The other is with a community development center as a resource liaison - helping people get out of homelessness, poverty and the like. Both are things I could excel at. Both are things that appeal to me, and that I am perfectly suited to. Both are an equidistant commute.

But I would have to leave the paper. And I love the paper. And I'd have to start again, at the bottom. And what if the people are horrible? What if I don't fit in? Is it worth the additional income (+3 - 5 dollars an hour) to leave a place where I am needed, valued and trusted?

The other issue is that the newspaper is rather a sinking ship. I feel strongly that my position is going to be downsized within the next couple years. These awesome positions are available now - who knows what will be out there when the time comes?

Obviously, I'm torn. I love this job and this industry, but it's not growing and it's not helping me meet my own personal goals. At what point do I leave?

AUGH.

I dunno. I guess I could update my resume and apply for this stuff, and deal with the decision after getting a job offer.

In other, less angsty, news, I'm training for my first 5K. Started C25K yesterday, and THAT was an adventure. I honestly didn't think I could do it, but you know what - I freakin' DID! And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow, baby. Right now ye olde training schedule looks thusly:

Monday: Walk 15 minutes, 60 minutes Zumba
Tuesday: Walk 15 minutes, 30 minutes C25K, 15 minutes ST
Wednesday: Walk 15 minutes, 60 minutes Zumba
Thursday: Walk 15 minutes, 30 minutes C25K, 15 minutes ST
Friday: Walk 15 minutes, 30 minutes C25K, 15 minutes ST
Saturday: Full rest
Sunday: ST Only

I'm really still hustlin' hard, and I almost, allllllllllmost have a little definition happening in my abs, which is hilarious. My eating needs a reality check, though. I'm trying hard to get back to basics and get away from the snacking I've been doing. Little stuff like adding hot cocoa and cream to my coffee, half a candy bar here and there, a bowl of cereal before bed, chips and crap is really sneaking back into my diet and I have to put the brakes on that sht.

Training for a race is going to help with my focus, I think. Someone approached me about trying the AdvoCare 24-day challenge the other day, and ... horrifyingly, I almost went for it. Thank god I'm a cheapskate, and it cost well over $250 for the month's worth of supplements and blah blah blah. I'm kind of still thinking about getting a supplement they call Catalyst which has a bunch of long chain protein-y things to help you maintain muscle mass? I don't know that I really need it though.

Basically, all their supplements boiled down to various stimulants. Which I'm just not interested in. I have never wanted to do this with shakes, pills or surgery and I don't have to. The cool thing about life is that there's no deadline! I could die tomorrow, or in 80 years - as long as I keep on a positive path and live every day the hardest I can... I've accomplished plenty.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FIFIFRIZZLE
    When you apply for a job you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. So what have y got to lose? You brush up your CV, research those potential workplaces, interview with them, find the answers to your questions, then maybe you are offered the jobs.
    And that's when you decide.
    Hope this helps.
    1239 days ago
  • ICANDY0000001
    What happened next? I just found your blog and you are an inspiration! When it stops so suddenly it makes me fearful that something dreadful happened to you.. I just love stories about real people who have total success in one area of their life but still battle in other areas. It is so alive!
    1239 days ago
  • CHERYLHURT
    Make the move! Get a new position, one with long term benefits and growth potential, like the school assistant, then leave the paper. Our paper is closing after 150 years so you are smart to notice you may have your position cut. Then tell us how it all turned out!
    1239 days ago
  • HAPPYERIN
    Hi chicky!

    First off, I commend you for looking outside your current job. I can relate to your situation a bit -- Andy used to work for a weekly paper, and he really liked his job -- he was actually the editor, writer, photographer, layout designer, etc. It was fun and he had flexibility, responsibility, low-key dress code, just like what you said. But you're right, there is NO money in paper, and that was the reason he completely switched careers and started selling cars, which is better pay and he still likes his job. (Incidentally, the paper he worked for shut down a year after he left!)

    Change is hard, but why not apply for the jobs anyway? What do you have to lose? You have a secure job right now, and who knows -- you may or may not get an interview, and then you only have a decision to make if you get a job offer. Andy just started a new job last week and faced again a lot of the decisions you are talking about (he'd been at the other dealership for five years), and I told him the same thing -- nothing to lose! Both jobs sound interesting, and I bet you would be great at them.

    Also, HOORAY for the 5K! That's awesome! And the same for those abs too -- you are incredible!
    1304 days ago
  • MEGYSU
    I think you're on the right track. It never hurts to apply. Then if you don't get an interview, you'll know it wasn't meant to be - and if you do get an interview, you can get more information as to whether or not you would want to work there.

    I applaud your dedication and positivity. You are always an inspiration!
    1305 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/13/2013 12:16:01 PM
  • NEWSGIRL2177
    It doesn't hurt to apply and get more info so you can make an informed decision. I do the "what if" thing a lot with big changes, but it works both ways. What if it sucks? What if it's amazingly awesome? What if you hate it? What if you love it more than you thought possible? Only one way to find out....

    Also, coming from a newspaper background, it was my passion and I still miss it every day. BUT, the instability and lack of opportunities made me look elsewhere. That industry is changing, good and bad. There are opportunities for some things, but you have to do some soul searching to decide whether it's worth the risk of staying.
    1310 days ago
  • ROBBIEY
    Change in any form is hard to conceive.
    There is always a what if
    1310 days ago
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