Wednesday, May 08, 2013
Man, today I am having some Grown Up Problems™. And they suck!
I'm not super ready to talk about it with my actual, legit friends and family. I don't know why. I guess because I'm more accountable to them, and the decisions I make will effect them more seriously, and blah blah blah. Maybe I'm just a weenie.
I'm gonna talk about it here because this has been my "safe place" for the last year and a piece. And you guys are great, and have nothing to lose no matter what I do!
And you know, it's not even that big a deal.
I'm considering a new job. But I absolutely LOVE this job, and the people I work with, and the non-monetary perks of internet access and a very free dress code. It's close, it's fun, and I'm a leader here.
But I don't make any freaking money. I just don't. My income barely cracks the poverty line. When we add C's income, it's all good. But I'm not making enough to be happy with my station - I'm not making enough to get out of the "renter's hole."
There are a couple great positions available outside the company that I'm really interested in. One is with the city's school system as an administrator's assistant. The other is with a community development center as a resource liaison - helping people get out of homelessness, poverty and the like. Both are things I could excel at. Both are things that appeal to me, and that I am perfectly suited to. Both are an equidistant commute.
But I would have to leave the paper. And I love the paper. And I'd have to start again, at the bottom. And what if the people are horrible? What if I don't fit in? Is it worth the additional income (+3 - 5 dollars an hour) to leave a place where I am needed, valued and trusted?
The other issue is that the newspaper is rather a sinking ship. I feel strongly that my position is going to be downsized within the next couple years. These awesome positions are available now - who knows what will be out there when the time comes?
Obviously, I'm torn. I love this job and this industry, but it's not growing and it's not helping me meet my own personal goals. At what point do I leave?
I dunno. I guess I could update my resume and apply for this stuff, and deal with the decision after getting a job offer.
In other, less angsty, news, I'm training for my first 5K. Started C25K yesterday, and THAT was an adventure. I honestly didn't think I could do it, but you know what - I freakin' DID! And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow, baby. Right now ye olde training schedule looks thusly:
Monday: Walk 15 minutes, 60 minutes Zumba
Tuesday: Walk 15 minutes, 30 minutes C25K, 15 minutes ST
Wednesday: Walk 15 minutes, 60 minutes Zumba
Thursday: Walk 15 minutes, 30 minutes C25K, 15 minutes ST
Friday: Walk 15 minutes, 30 minutes C25K, 15 minutes ST
Saturday: Full rest
Sunday: ST Only
I'm really still hustlin' hard, and I almost, allllllllllmost have a little definition happening in my abs, which is hilarious. My eating needs a reality check, though. I'm trying hard to get back to basics and get away from the snacking I've been doing. Little stuff like adding hot cocoa and cream to my coffee, half a candy bar here and there, a bowl of cereal before bed, chips and crap is really sneaking back into my diet and I have to put the brakes on that sht.
Training for a race is going to help with my focus, I think. Someone approached me about trying the AdvoCare 24-day challenge the other day, and ... horrifyingly, I almost went for it. Thank god I'm a cheapskate, and it cost well over $250 for the month's worth of supplements and blah blah blah. I'm kind of still thinking about getting a supplement they call Catalyst which has a bunch of long chain protein-y things to help you maintain muscle mass? I don't know that I really need it though.
Basically, all their supplements boiled down to various stimulants. Which I'm just not interested in. I have never wanted to do this with shakes, pills or surgery and I don't have to. The cool thing about life is that there's no deadline! I could die tomorrow, or in 80 years - as long as I keep on a positive path and live every day the hardest I can... I've accomplished plenty.