Wednesday, May 08, 2013
How are you all doing?
I thought I had broken through my plateau, but just the top layer eroded away a pound and I appear to be flattened out once more. Not discouraged though.
What I find very weird is that
in my brain I know I have lost 55 pounds.
In my closet I know I have shrunk my clothes 5-6 sizes, depending upon the country where they were constructed.
In the mirror, I catch myself and wonder, "Who IS that?"
In my doctor's lab work, my health is so noticeably better that he's skipping around the office.
In my everyday life, I have so much more energy from not wasting it carrying around all that tonnage.
In my dog's moldable retractable leash, four fingers slip right through up to my thumb where I could only squeeze 3 fingers through it last December.
The front of my winter coat wraps around to where the side seams should be.
In my memory, I can't remember ever being at this low weight.
And I have the quantitative measurements, photos, graphs, etc. that attest to all of it.
So what's weird?
Well, on the inside, sitting here working on the computer, the size of my body still feels the same as it always has, no matter what I weighed.
Don't get me wrong. I also know I'm not at goal yet, have at least 30 pounds to go, perhaps more so I'm not expecting to feel THIN. But inside my skin, I still feel my size is the same as when I started this journey last summer. I'm not sure what I expected it to feel like when I had lost 55 pounds. I do know I never expected to lose those all those pounds.
So maybe that's the real purpose of this plateau. To give me time to come to terms with what this new me feels like. To give me time to shrink my perceptions down to the current me.
I think that will be an important adjustment. Otherwise I could easily put weight back on and never realize it until the whole wardrobe no longer fits.