"Where I Lived & What I Lived For"
Wednesday, May 08, 2013
I took a page out of Thoreau's Walden this past weekend if you substitute a VW bus for a cabin and a river for a pond. It's not that I felt the inner transcendentalist screaming for time away, but it started to feel that way by Sunday afternoon.
Last week (and the week before) I was in a proverbial tailspin. Everything felt like it was falling apart - I was unmotivated, falling behind, craving foods I haven't wanted in months, and emotionally falling apart. I know this is a balance issue for me; I've always been 110% in it or nothing at all. By the time Friday came along I wanted to stay home and ignore everyone and everything, but my husband and I had plans: to camp in the woods Friday-Sunday.
I reluctantly went and was glued to my phone for most of Friday evening. I was getting so many emails that I almost feared what my inbox would look like if I didn't respond right then and there. I also wanted to make sure I was logging my SP trackings. After all I like being consistent each month and seeing my streaks. Then my phone died.
At first, I was furious. This inevitably transcended to acceptance and I was able to let go (that's a big deal for me). No email. No sparkpeople. No texts. No phone calls. I was in the woods with my friends trying to enjoy the unplugged time out. Eventually I did. Not right away or without flaws, but I did eventually relax - to the extent that upon arriving home I didn't engage in the responsibilities I was freaking out about on Friday.
Honesty note, I did check my work email. This, after a few things, led me a to quite the cathartic cry. I think my husband thought I was going to go Sylvia Plath on him or worse yell, but it all worked out eventually. In fact, the "great cry" might have strengthened some qualities in our relationship as of late. Not that there were bad ones, but sometimes our communication breaks down (well, just mine, really) and this seemed to open it right back up.
So, alas, I didn't have a moment of materialism and the big business is what will destroy our selves, country, and ability to be happy moment, but I did have a time out and consequently a reset button that I hope I will not need again. At least for a little while.
On a more SP related moment, I reached a 45lb. weight loss this morning. :)