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Another depressing Mother's Day

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

The month of May is a little hard for me every year. In the past, i have always given presents cards and flowers to all my moms for Mother's Day. My mom Cindy, for giving birth and raising two girls on her own as a single mother. She was my best friend and she was always there when i needed her. My mom Jenny for taking me in as her stepdaughter when i was 8 and raising me as her own. She was more like a sister, i could tell her anything, loved the girl talks. My grandma for always being there for me, and taking care of me since i was a baby. She was the strongest woman i have ever known, always believed in me and gave me confidence. Then there is my mom Becky. She was friends with both my mom and dad when they were younger, so she has been there for me since i was a baby. She had 4 of her own kids and one grandkid by the time she was 30 and still took me in every chance she got. (including mine) she is now on her 17th grandchild and just turned 49!

My mom Cindy died in September of 2005, 3 months later my mom Jenny died. Then my grandma in 2008. My mom Becky is doing great, but we lost her son (my brother) last year on his birthday and he left his son for her to care for. I know Mother's Day is going to be hard for her this year. But i will do my best to be there for her.

My mom's (Cindy) birthday is May 20th, and we always spent it together with the family. There have been many other deaths on all sides of my family and friends in the last few years. So my family (well the few that are left) have grown apart and moved away.

I usually get really depressed and rely on bottles of alcohol to get through it. But this year will be different. I have two beautiful girls and a husband that i am very greatful for. The past is the past and even though i can't change it, i can change the future. I am going to make it my goal to not drink on the 20th or around Mother's Day. This will be a first for me this year, but i know i can do it. I have so many things to look forward to and my girls make me the happiest mother of all.

I dont really talk to my friends or family about this. Mother's Day is supposed to be a happy joyous time and i dont want to depress them. Wow, i feel a little bit better just typing it up. Even though you are all strangers to me (which makes it easier to talk about it) I just wanted to say thanks for listening (reading) and thanks for being there for me.

I hope you all have a wonderful Mother's Day, and for the guys out there, treat your mothers, wifes, girlfriends like a queen, they deserve it.
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