Wednesday, May 08, 2013
I'm sure many people can relate with me and my desire to stay out of pictures. I'm usually the one behind the camera, taking pictures of my kids and family with not a lot to document that I was there. I make it a point to scuttle out of the picture frame when I see someone about to snap a photo because I don't want my heft documented. Since I was a teenager, having my picture taken was close to a form of torture. I would imagine my mom looking at the pictures from the most recent holiday gathering and saying "tsk, tsk" because I am fat and she doesn't approve (Thats a whole nother barrel of monkeys that I've mostly gotten over. Needless to say her quest to make me thin started at puberty and is still something I'm getting over). I would see how much bigger I am than all my friends in the photo and be crushed because I felt like I didn't belong. To a certain extent I'm still mortified when a friend posts pictures online of me that are very unflattering, because I can't take them down and god forbid someone sees me looking like a walrus.
But not having my picture taken isn't going to magically make me thin. Its just going to exclude me from the memories of those I love. I don't know about you, but my memory is horrible and pictures often help to jog it so I can remember situations. My girls won't be able to look through a photo album when they're older to reminisce about their childhood and see a loving mother snuggling and playing and being there for them. My husband won't get to remember the good old days pre-kids and careers when we were irresponsible kids fresh out of college and doing crazy things because we still felt omnipotent. My parents won't be able to look at their creation and see what a good job they've done. My siblings won't have a picture of their silly, loving sister and remember all the jokes and laughs we've had.
This morning I read this article: myfriendteresablog.com/s
and it struck a chord. Am I fat? Yes. Can I hide from it? No. Do other people care about it as much as I do? Absolutely not. We are our own worst critics. Let's reclaim our own little bit of history by marking an event, be it mundane or not, by jumping INTO a picture for a change. I am here and my life is important. Plus, pictures will be a good thing to look back on when I AM thin to see what an extraordinary journey I have made.
So, snap away! I can't wait to see the memories we make.