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SUNSHINE65
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Late Nightl Funnies

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

"A woman in Florida crashed her car into a Target store. But in her defense, the store did have a giant target on it." -Jimmy Fallon



"Health experts have named Mississippi the fattest state in the Union. The state bird of Mississippi? The fried chicken." -Jay Leno



"A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn't sound too bad to me. You'd probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway." -Jimmy Kimmel


I believe the time is right. Anthony wiener is a changed man. His own brother gave The New York Times this moving testimonial: 'There was definitely a douchiness about him I don't see anymore.' I think his mayoral campaign just found his slogan: 'Anthony Weiner, now less douchey.' That reduction, that lowering in the douchey level, has not come easy. As Weiner's brother pointed out, 'No one has been harder on him than he has been on him than he has been on himself.' And we all know how hard he can be on himself. -
Stephen Colbert


Former Rep. Anthony Weiner? Remember him? He famously tweeted lewd photos of himself. He says he wants people to give him a second chance. Not in politics, but on Instagram. -Conan O'Brien



Former Congressman Anthony Weiner said that he's considering running for mayor of New York City. If nothing else I'm sure that he'll provide some stiff competition. Come on, he's the total package. I don't want to be too hard on him. I don't have a bone to pick with that guy. -Jimmy Fallon


Anthony Weiner, remember him? The Peter Tweeter? He's now thinking of running for mayor of New York. And believe me, he has thought long and hard about this. The Wall Street Journal said that Mr. Weiner didn't respond to an email seeking comment. Hey, Anthony Weiner didn't email or text you back? Consider yourself lucky! -Jay Leno
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