Tuesday, May 07, 2013
I call days like today “Bad Thyroid Days”… they are hard to describe to people, but I feel like I should try. I’m not even entirely sure my thyroid is the cause, but when they become more frequent I know to get my levels checked – which I just did! Yay. So here is my day:
- I have to drag myself out of bed. I feel like I could sleep all day. I probably could, if you let me.
- I never feel like I really “wake up” – I’m in a fog all day. My energy levels are in the negatives.
- I get a little headache, just enough to be annoying.
- I do stupid stuff (see – fog) like write my name where a date should be, or try to put things in the wrong places that seem right at the time (like my notebook in the fridge?!)
- I will probably forget 75% of what I’m told today. I have developed a habit of trying to write everything and anything someone says down, so I can go back later to fill myself in.
- Everything feels like it takes so much more effort, probably because of the tiredness, headache & fog. Right now driving home, cooking dinner, and showering seems exhausting.
Interestingly, my appetite is usually shot on bad days like this, so I don’t find myself overeating, but I also don’t work out. I am giving myself the night off because I am putting myself to bed at 9pm and have things to take care of before then… like laundry, because I have no clean underthings left to wear. And my brain is just like “whatever!” because of how I feel.
My sister and I met last night at Panera. I ordered a hummus salad off of their “secret menu” – check it out! It is supposedly better for you. Anyways, we had our chat. I said my piece, she said hers. I told her I still don’t see things her way 100% and I probably never will, but I feel better knowing I said something so I don’t regret it later. She knows I will be there and be nice, but I don’t have to agree with it. We went to try to find me a dress afterwards and I looked like a giant pastel cow in everything I tried on. Probably not a good idea to do it both after Panera and after a long stressful conversation, but I wanted us to end on an up note. Didn’t find a dress though so… I’m not even sure if it was an up note.
Anyways, I had to run errands on my lunch break today and stopped by Wegmans. Picked up some gluten free pasta and other products. Even if I don’t go 100% gluten free, I know it will be beneficial to me to cut back processed foods, especially carbs. BF and I talked last night about me going back to my “one bad day” rule. Cutting out entire food groups is always BAD news to me. I start to see things very black and white and never cut myself slack. It ALWAYS ends up with me in tears somewhere because I’m mad/frustrated/loathing/hungry
. But it does seem easier for me to plan ahead for a “bad” day – like this Friday when we have dinner and drinks on the books for my friend’s birthday. I can go into Friday knowing what it is and working with it, rather than hate myself for being “bad” or having a miserable time restricting myself from eating while everyone else does.
So that is the plan for me for now – cut back the bad food, let myself plan a relaxed day, hopefully work out each day for the rest of the week since the past two were less than stellar, and HOPEFULLY get my blood work results back so I can move forward educated. Sigh.