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    SAABSTORY   24,226
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Things that make you go UGH!!!

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Ugh, what a past day, well what a past 12 hours. Went to the gym last night and got a call on my cell from the ex. We get along fairly well, and donít often fight, but itís not like I like to sit on the phone and chat with her. Well, since I was on the bike I figured the whole thing could wait and I would call her back. When I got finished I forgot to check my voicemail. So, I finish up, stretch out after the ride. Hit the sauna and then get cleaned up. I go home, sit down and flip on the tv. Phone rings again. Itís the ex wife again.

Now, my ex and I have our issues that we will not see eye to eye on ever. Which is a reason we are no longer married. I think she is way too hard on the kids about grades and while I know that good grades are important. Well, with my oldest daughter it was unwarranted since she is one who always got Aís in high school. Top 50 in her class and I think she got one B in her entire high school career. And mainly it was without putting a whole lot of effort in to it. My son is different. He reminds me a lot of me when I was his age. I had to work harder at it, but I did ok. He has to work at it. But occasionally he ďforgetsĒ to turn things in. The ex has always been wanting to come down hard on him. Grounding and taking away his games and I have usually exercised easing off. Giving him the chance to get it straightened out. He does decent work most of the time and even with missing assignments has usually gotten Bís and Aís.

So, last night the call was that he had neglected to turn in a project for English. Supposedly it is finished, but he just forgot to turn it in. At this point I donít much care. Bottom line is I think it was the straw that broke the camels back. I went off on him and took his phone for a week. He is also co-captain of the JV tennis team and as such he is responsible for passing along messages to half the team when the coach sends something out. So this isnít only him itís affecting. He is making someone else do more work because he slacked off.

Not only has it finally gotten to me, but I am sick of the lectures from the ex. It is enough to drive someone crazy.

So, I get in to work this morning and get another call. Ugh, canít it wait till I pick up the kids tonight? Well, turns out he had another project he was working on last night and at 2:00 am, he lost it. I guess he dozed or something, went to close it and didnít save it. So, he ended up trying to piece together a project at 4:00 am. Grrrr, at what point is getting mad about this one and doing something about it piling on? I mean, I could ground him, take his phone for 2 weeks or whatever, but I canít help wondering if my being mad and punishing him played a role in this one. Well, I guess I will hold off to see how it actually turns out on this one.
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SAABSTORY 5/7/2013 3:14PM

    Jenna and Joyful. Excellent suggestions. I am going to talk to him tonight if he is willing to come with me. I may suggest though he just do homework and get to bed early. He will need sleep. I have told him to use a planner or the calendar in his phone to keep on task and know what is due when. He seems to do it for a short time, but we always slide back. That is what is soo frustrating.

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VLINDER2014 5/7/2013 3:14PM

    Well as one parent to another.. I can only say this.. We want to make our kids responsible.. We want everything better for them.. We want more for them then we had..

I have a daughter.. she is too smart for her own good, too lazy for her own good. At times she forgets things.. Her grades earn her things like trips, concerts .. I get paid to work .. she gets paid for school. I have let her not turn in something and feel the sting of the consequences.. I can't watch her or be on her 24/7 .. Her action or lack there of have a consequence and if she wants to be an adult.. well here is the adult world..

I know some will disagree with me.. but I will always be her Mother but she has to learn what she does affects her.. I will not always be able to push, yell , or resent the fact that she isn't whom I think she should be.. That to me is such a waste of my time and effort in life. I love her , I support her , but at almost 16 she has lessons to learn .. on her own..

Hope you figure it out.. I wish you the best of luck and Peace in your decision.

Comment edited on: 5/7/2013 3:25:29 PM

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JLEMUS1 5/7/2013 1:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JEN_ORR 5/7/2013 12:47PM

  Will the coach help out by talking with him about his position as a role model on the team - that way you don't have to be the bad guy?

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JOYFULGRATITUDE 5/7/2013 10:48AM

    It might help if your son learned some organization and time management skills. Make sure he's not overloaded with extra curricular activities (in and out of school). He should start getting into the habit of using a student planner to write down his class assignments (literally at the end of each class period) and check his planner a couple times a day to make sure he's on task. This habit will serve him well once he gets to college where you really need to keep track of everything. He can also use his planner to keep track of his responsibilities at home, for the tennis team, other extra curricular activities (in and out of school) that he's involved in and, if he has a part-time job, his work schedule. As a former high school athlete, I stress that your son needs to be turning in his class assignments. If he continues to forget, intentionally or not, he could end up getting placed on academic probation. If he continues to miss turning in assignments after being placed on probation, he might get kicked off the tennis team. If the tennis team is that important to him, he'll hopefully make the conscious effort to get his class assignments turned in. Also, being on the tennis team could score him some sports scholarships for college. I sincerely hope everything works out for him. Best of luck.

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JOANNHUNT 5/7/2013 10:42AM

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