Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    PINKHOPE   116,433
SparkPoints
100,000-149,999 SparkPoints
 
 

What you CAN'T do - Tales from 100# Down


Tuesday, May 07, 2013

I attended a function recently and was happy to see a friend that moved to a southern suburb about 3 years ago. She didn't recognize me. It made me realize through HER eyes the great change that has occurred in my life. When others around us notice our change they often ask us to help them get started on their own journey. Sometimes it's a friend or coworker. It might be a family member or neighbor. They see our success and desire to make progress themselves.

Of course we are delighted to share the knowledge we have gained on the journey. We might share sparkpeople.com with them, invite them to walk with us, take them to the gym on a guest pass, share recipes and food finds. We might even offer to hold each other accountable in some way. We can share a lot of helpful information gained from experience.

BUT... No matter how much information we have to share we CAN'T do the work for them. We can't climb on the exercise bike or go for a 2 mile run in their place. Likewise, we can't eat for them. As much as we want them to enjoy the same success it is ultimately a personal journey they must make.

What CAN you do?

You can invite them to join you on a walk or play an active sport. You can invite them over for a healthy dinner. You can model healthy eating by suggesting a restaurant where you can look up nutritional information and stay in range. You can tell them about your healthy food finds. You can suggest recipe swaps to lighten up their meals. You can praise them for success they have. These are things you CAN do but again, you can't do the work for them.

It is important to remember that each individual has a unique "course" to "Health & Fitness". We don't all take the same roads or drive in the same size car or even at the same speed. Some will have seasons in a detour (planned or unplanned). Some will go back home and have to begin the journey all over. As a supportive friend/family member you can continue to MODEL healthy eating and exercise and when they are ready to join you - smile and say "Let's go!"

Be sure that your friend/family member knows that your feelings for them are not conditional upon weight loss. Let them know you will support them in any way you can but ultimately your relationship is rock solid no matter what they weigh.

Lastly, when they stumble (and we all do) don't give up on them! Just keep offering that hand up and a smile. We need ALL the support we can get on this journey.

Pressing On!
SHARE

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MY1FAN 5/20/2013 12:42PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1FARMER 5/10/2013 11:30AM

    I have been struggling lately so thank you for the support. We spark friends
are sometimes hard on ourselves and forget about the things we have accomplished
on our journey. emoticon Jeanne emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DILLONNAN 5/8/2013 3:29PM

    Wise thoughts, thank you. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOING-STRONG 5/8/2013 11:13AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STAREYES723 5/8/2013 12:43AM

    That's great advice. Thanks

Report Inappropriate Comment
TREYONE 5/7/2013 9:37PM

  Wonderful words of wisdom!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WACFIT 5/7/2013 9:09PM

    Good advice. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEMT 5/7/2013 8:57PM

    Man, you are so very right. We can give all sorts of advice etc. but we can't do the work for them. I can be a cheerleader but sometimes it is so very hard.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECCA315 5/7/2013 8:31PM

    Good words of advice. Becca

Report Inappropriate Comment
LUVSBULLDOGS 5/7/2013 4:56PM

    Wonderful blog, thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANDREAG89 5/7/2013 1:11PM

    Couldn't agree more. Sometimes I'm the one leading, and many times I'm the one who needs the invitation. :-)

Report Inappropriate Comment
FELINEBETTER 5/7/2013 12:55PM

    I'm just getting to the point where people are noticing my weight loss -- maybe because I've been hidden under a parka here until recently! hehe But seriously, you make some excellent points. I have to admit though, with some people, it is almost insulting when they ask because they seem to expect a "magic pill" kind of answer. Yes - we can all do it when we put our minds and hearts into it -- but it's not easy!

You are shining example of a true warrior!!!! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHANGINGEMMY 5/7/2013 12:29PM

    Way to go! What a feeling to have "seen" yourself through your friends eyes. What an extra push! Keep up the hard work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMAZINGAMY14 5/7/2013 12:27PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRANNYGRIGGS 5/7/2013 11:54AM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing your wonderful insights!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JEANNETTE59 5/7/2013 11:36AM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NASFKAB 5/7/2013 11:22AM

  thanks for all the ideas

Report Inappropriate Comment
L*I*T*A* 5/7/2013 9:42AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JCRAFT6 5/7/2013 8:33AM

    thanks for your comments. I love reading your blogs

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRISTAROSE 5/7/2013 6:53AM

    emoticon emoticon

Great blog !!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GETTO140 5/7/2013 6:19AM

    Way to go! Great blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
COCK-ROBIN 5/7/2013 4:50AM

    I'm happy for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SATCHMO99 5/7/2013 2:49AM

    What a lovely blog, and very insightful - we can't walk their walk for them but we can walk alongside them.

Well done on your own weightloss, and it must have been amazing that your old friend didn't recognise the new you!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.