Monday, May 06, 2013
I am a serious person. Seriously. In all seriousness I am so serious that I annoy myself sometimes. I am a person who can take a simple sentence meant as nothing more than an off comment and turn it into a life altering moment that becomes added to my journey. Ehhhhh, yeah that needs to kinda stop.
I do realize that every time I do this, that it is part of an old, established behavior that I have been putting off truly dealing with for quite some time. There are times for seriousness and there are times to shake my head, close my eyes (or roll them if necessary) and maybe, just maybe, have a good laugh.
This blog is being written because I went through another one of these too serious episodes today. Actually it began yesterday afternoon and I just dragged it on and on until it was taken care of today. Now that it is behind me, I look back at it and see such wasted emotion and worry that was so unnecessary. I struggle with wanting to kick myself over this, yet I understand why I'm still coping with this particular behavior. So kicking myself just wouldn't be fair. Kind of like kicking a dog when it's down... and I would never do that.
I've worked through so many changes over the past few years, that it boggles my mind that there is still residual *stuff* left in there that needs some tweaking. But there is and I'm acknowledging it now. I'm laying it out on the table, so to speak. I need to lighten up a bit. I need to save the seriousness for when it is appropriate. I need to open my mind up a bit more so I can accept that not everything and everyone is out to do me wrong. I can learn to trust that. I know I can.
Trusting myself has become a very important step in my journey. I don't believe that I would be where I am today without having taken the time to learn to trust a very important person in my life...me. If I don't trust myself to do the right thing for me, then why would it make sense to trust another to? Learning to trust myself has given me strength, self-esteem, pride and a host of other feelings that make life feel like a privilege to be living. Trust is built, just like our journeys are built with each step we take. Building my trust is crucial in continuing what I'm called to do in life. Trusting my decisions with my nutrition, my running, my parenting, my relationship, my friendships, etc, etc, is what will help lift me even higher in life.
And there I go again getting all serious......what can I say? I'm a work in progress ;-)