I can do this. You can do this. We will do this!

Monday, May 06, 2013

Well that hurt, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been... Stepping on the scale this morning, I just said to myself “screw it, whatever it is, is just the beginning of starting over.” So I got on. 193. It was up. Honestly it has been up for awhile, I just kept denying that my tracker set at 184 wasn’t that off. OR I was just going to not update it again until I got below 184 where it has been set for awhile.

Then I remembered, this is not the point of Spark. Sometimes I feel a bit of pressure since I’m a motivator and since I have lost a bunch of weight. Dropping from 270/280 to 180 was great. Then... I hung out at 184 for half a year... Then I had my arm reduction surgery... swelled up a bit. Maintained around 184... then the second revision surgery went bad. Then I got busy/lazy/stressed. Crazy thesis drama ensued. Sold my house. Came up with a lot of excuses to not work out or care what I put in my mouth... So I’m up to 193.

I’m up 10# for not watching myself or working out. Not as bad as it could be. But also not far from where I was. Its just 10#. My stomach is bigger, my arms that I just paid $6k to fix are bigger (now that is enough to irk me!) and my jeans are very vocal about my increased waist. I still don’t look bad though. I feel a little uncomfortable in my some clothes, but I’m still cute. But I’m going for hot. I’m going for beat the men off with a stick hot. I will get there.

I’m finishing up my thesis edits now. Turning it in Friday. Then the serious crazy stressful job hunt begins. Also. Mission HPOA. Fill in the blanks on the acronym ;-)

On the boy front I was just at another wedding with him. He knows a ton of people getting hitched. He seriously needs to stop taking me to weddings when I’m hormonal. It was supposed to be that time of the month... still waiting. So I was either PMSing or pregnant = horrible time to go to a wedding. Honestly its like 99% PMS. Weddings + hormonal girl friend = googly eyes and crying.

We’re doing really good. He keeps helping me move stuff around. I almost have all of my furniture in my bedroom at my parents house. Its still a mess. Haven’t been able to spend any time there to reorganize the stuff. Ugh... and of course I’ve gotten guilt trips from my mom about that.

Friday’s my birthday too. Is it weird that I’ve been so busy I don’t have a wish list or want to do anything? I wouldn’t mind crawling into pajamas with my dogs watching Netflix with TJ but that’s about it. Moving stuff around makes me feel a lot less materialistic. I don’t want any more stuff to move, lol.

Okay, now onto the plan. I’m staying with my friend Mette this week. She’s getting married in two weeks so eating healthy is on the game plan. I brought salad and fruit and center cut bacon and eggs for breakfast. I spent a ton of money on food last week, and I added up the calories... reality check time! I can’t afford $100 and 2000 calories of food! I’ll be fat and broke!

So planning ahead = salads, eggs/bacon, fruit, healthy food = staying under my calorie goal = losing weight!

I can do this. You can do this. We will do this!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sure you'll get that off in no time. Good thing you caught yourself early and paid attention before things got out of hand. I remember when I was only 10 lbs up. I knew it, and still did nothing. Now it's more like 25.

    1782 days ago
    UM, what ADARKARA said!!

    I applaud you for getting back on the scale and knowing it's time to get back to work. And having a great attitude and game plan about it. Because you are amazing.

    And now comes the slapping. " Sometimes I feel a bit of pressure since I’m a motivator and since I have lost a bunch of weight. "
    I understand that. I do. But know that you don't owe anyone ANYTHING. You are a motivator because you are YOU. Just be you. emoticon

    Having a bunch of life changing and medical stuff totally upend your life and your eating/exercise habits is part of life. You accepted it, took charge, and are on your way back. It's practically the definition of maintenance. YOU GOT THIS!!
    1782 days ago
    Its good to know that last month was a fail for more people than just me. I gained 5-7lbs just being redics last month with moving,exams and life, so just know you're not alone. We've got a plan in place and we WILL do this.
    1782 days ago
    I was lazy/eating un-mindfully last month and man it really hurt me. Turning it around this month! We will do this!
    1782 days ago
  • CAALAN23
    Sounds like you've had a lot going on too, so no guilty feelings right??? There were positive things happening as well during that time the weight was being sneaky.

    You've also got a great plan to kick it back into gear which is another reason I'm guessing you are a motivator.


    Oh...and also...

    1782 days ago
    I haven't been eating that well lately. I want to pick up a journal from the store to write down what I eat, when I workout, the progress I make, and also include my writing schedule.

    Also - I left a comment on your page now that you're a doctor and all. And not like Dr. Pepper is a doctor. ;)
    1782 days ago
    10 measly pounds with all you've been through recently? COME ON. This will be a piece of cake for you (or fruit, whatever floats your boat emoticon ) You can DO this!
    1782 days ago
    I so get the hormonal thing + weddings. It sucks!! But, at least you have a guy who's willing to go with you. Mine hates going to weddings and doesn't even want to set a date for ours. lol As for the eating right, it sounds like you have an awesome plan! Good luck sticking to it! And hey. At least the move should burn off a few extra calories. :]
    1782 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    Sounds like you have a good plan in place! All you have to do is execute the plan and you will drop that 10 in no time! Good luck and you CAN do it!
    1782 days ago
    I gained back 33lbs last fall/winter by turning a blind eye to my tracker and somehow thinking I'll just get back down and then my tracker will be right again. It's much more fun owning up AND watching it go back down than pretending.

    You can do this!
    1782 days ago
    I've gained 10 pounds through my surgery/recovery time too added on to the 5 pounds I was up last year and it's not good! I must do something about it NOW! It helped me to read your blog. We've got so much to look forward to, and being healthier means we can enjoy life just a bit more!

    When is your graduation day? I'm going to my niece's graduation on May 17 at 3:00 at Mizzou. She's getting her doctorate in Physical Therapy. It'd be so cool if your major graduates at the same time!

    Here's to a healthier US!
    1782 days ago
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    1782 days ago
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