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Rock Bottom

Monday, May 06, 2013

I woke up this morning nauseous and in severe digestive distress. I was so ill, I needed to call out of all of my morning meetings at work.

Don’t feel sorry for me. It was self-inflicted. Yesterday started out as a normal Sunday morning – struggled a little more than usual during my step/yoga routine because of soreness from yard work on Saturday. Followed it with my weekly trip to the grocery store, ate a healthy lunch when I got home, and then spent a little time baking in the kitchen. I used some of the chickpea flour I got at the Indian grocery store a few weeks ago ( wp.me/p1N36Q-5S ) to make my gluten free lemon bars ( wp.me/p1N36Q-4o ) again. I wanted to have these on hand to pull in case of an emergency situation, per my idea from last week’s cookie disaster at work ( wp.me/p1N36Q-6L ).

The crust for the lemon bars was not cooperating with me. I’m not sure if it was the chickpea flour or that I used more Smart Balance Butter Spread this time than last (I didn’t think I used any more… but then again, I didn’t actually measure very well). It just looked too wet to be a good dough. So what did I do?

Added regular flour.

I don’t really know why I did it. I justified to myself at the time that it was only a few tablespoons of regular flour and couldn’t possibly be a big deal. But whether it was really a side-effect of wheat or just my brain working against me – knowing the wheat was present – my internal binge monster came roaring to life.

But, oddly enough, I wasn’t by myself when this happened, which is usually a pre-requirement for engaging in binge behavior. One of my best friends came over to catch-up over a glass of wine (she’s been so busy with work, I haven’t seen her in a while). She brought over these:

Ironically made by a company called “Sensible Portions.”

These seemed harmless enough, labeled as Non GMO, Vegan, No Trans Fat, 30% less fat than potato chips, and no artificial stuff. (Although they are processed on a line that also processes wheat). But I consumed more than a day’s worth of calories of these – plus the lemon bars and 2.5 glasses of wine.

I don’t know what did me in – the flour in the lemon bars or the cross-contamination of wheat in the veggie straws, the wine, the excitement over having my friend over. Whatever it was, the fact is I made myself so sick over food that I lost income over it. It scares me because it’s never been THAT bad before. This can’t happen again.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow! So sorry you are suffering the effects today. This whole thing is a process and I'm sure you will think twice next time before adding regular flour to anything. Hang in there and tomorrow will be better :)
    1778 days ago
  • TLG71567
    Tomorrow is a new day. emoticon
    1778 days ago
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